(Sunshine Piranha walks onstage.)

S.P.: Hi, everyone! Soft Spiny decided to let me interview this time!

Soft Spiny (tied up and gagged in the corner): MMMPH!!

S.P.: ... Forget that you saw that. Anyways, the awesome person that I'll be interviewing today is the ferocious guardian of the Underwhere, UNDERCHOMP!!

Dorguy III: Since he can't talk, I'll be answering for him.

Underchomp: BARK BARK WOOF!

S.P.: Okay, then. Let's start. Why are his three heads yellow, blue, and red? What's the purpose for that?

Dorguy: The colors represent the 3 most dangerous elements: fire, water, and poison.

S.P.: But blue breathes frost.

Dorguy: Which is a form of water!

S.P.: Okay. How does he start those RPG style turn-based battles?

Dorguy: That's actually a battle of the minds. Underchomp can tap into anyone's subconscious and start a battle that SEEMS real. If the opponent loses, then they're knocked out, and wake up back in the main area of the Underwhere. Or in Mario's case, wherever he saved last.

S.P.: Are there any other border patrol-type monsters?

Dorguy: No. He guards the only gateway to the Overthere. That reminds me... Underchomp just gave birth to puppies. (Birthing Chain Chomps is NOT easy. Especially with no hands.) You want one?

S.P.: Sure! I don't think Soft Spiny would mind.

Dorguy: Okay. I'll get him in here after the Interview is over.

S.P.: Time for audience questions! Seat 3.141592!

Mack: Why does Yellow breathe poison?

Dorguy: Can you THINK of a better element to go with yellow?

S.P.: ... Good answer. Seat 0294756835817547462891910464836287495792810!

Goomba: Instead of asking questions like the other Dorguys, you have Underchomp battle. Why?

Dorguy: The Underchomp battle requires a lot of strategy, so it's really not that different from answering questions.

S.P.: And that's all we have time for! Can you bring in the puppy now? I LOVE LITTLE DOGGIES!!

Dorguy: Fine. CHOMPAZ!!

(An Underchomp with purple, green, and orange heads appears.)

Chompaz: Yessir? What do you need, sir? I'm so excited! I'm hungry!

Dorguy: Yeah, he's a little jittery.

S.P.: HE'S ADORABLE!!

(S.P. cuddles Chompaz.)

S.P.: What? Oh. We're still on. End transmission.

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