Conrad: Welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show! I don't know why we call it that since he's never here.

Lemmy: I always am! Just usually in the audience.

Conrad: Oh well. Today my guest is Lakitu!

Lakitu: Hey everyone!

Conrad: Were you the Lakitu filming Mario in SM64?

Lakitu: No. Those Lakitus were traitors to the Koopa Kingdom.

Conrad: Why do you ref the sports events and races then?

Lakitu: Bowser likes to compete in them so he's fine with me doing it, and it pays well. But now I got my own cart and can race with them while other Lakitus do my usual job.

Conrad: Do you really need those glasses?

Lakitu: Oh, these? These are just my flight goggles. I can see fine without them, they just make me look cooler.

Conrad: Where do you get those Spinies from?

Lakitu: My cloud conceals a Spiny cloning device. The original is my pet Spiny and I throw down his clones.

Conrad: Why doesn't Mario use that when he steals your cloud, then?

Lakitu: I dunno. Too stupid, I guess.

Conrad: Does Spiny, the Spiny, do anything but sit in the machine?

Lakitu: Nah. He thinks it's better to hide when someone steals the cloud.

Conrad: Was Lakithunder a unique Lakitu because of his lightning attacks, or can all Lakitus do that?

Lakitu: You need a storm cloud to do that. And only very tough Lakitus can stand to use them. I tried, it's really, really painful just to sit on one.

Conrad: Why does your cloud have a face on it?

Lakitu: I painted it on so I'd have someone to talk to while Spiny and his clones are asleep. Since they're technically the same creature they all sleep at the same time and I get lonely.

Audience: 0_0

Conrad: Okay then. Audience questions, please! Seat OBVIOUSLYATHIEF!

Ms. Mowz: How were the Spinies in Mario Party 9 so much bigger than usual?

Lakitu: I changed the setting on the cloning machine.

Conrad: Seat ANYTHINGBUTACAMEO!

Samus: Why do you control the media?

Lakitu: WE DON'T! Everyone just thinks that because of those two from SM64!

(The camera pans around to show that the cameraman, boom operator, stage manager, lighting guy, etc. are all Lakitus.)

Lakitu: Oh, right. We just do by coincidence.

Conrad: I don't believe you.

Lakitu: Silence, non-believer!

Conrad: No!

Lakitu: It's some stupid Nintendo joke about the original flying enemy being on the air. Now that you made me make that horrible pun, Spiny will kill you.

Conrad: Meep. End Transmission.

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