PYRO GUY interviews FAWFUL
 
By Pyro Guy

March 27, 2012

(A red Snifit walks onstage.)

Pyro Guy: Hello everyone, and welcome to-

(Lemmy suddenly appears.)

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Pyro Guy: Lemmy! What are you doing here?

Lemmy: Wishing you luck in your first Interview. I thought that you were a Shy Guy.

Pyro Guy: No, I'm the non-karate Zeus Guy.

Lemmy: Oh. Well who are you interviewing?

(As he says this, Fawful crashes through the window.)

Fawful: I have pain.

Pyro Guy: Him.

Lemmy: Kay.

(He leaves.)

Pyro Guy: So Fawful, I should probably ask why you just crashed through my window.

Fawful: I-

Pyro Guy: But I don't really care. So, why did you open a shop below Peach's castle?

Fawful: I had a deal of opportunity from another of the beanishness.

Pyro Guy: His name wasn't Popple, was it?

Fawful: Yesness, why?

Pyro Guy: No reason. So how about your headgear? Just what was it and where did it come from?

Fawful: I built it for my own use. It was the balogna on my sandwich of conquering. It was also the favorite weapon of mine.

Pyro Guy: Why do you make so many food metaphors?

Fawful: It is of the comedy.

Pyro Guy: Last question. Why do you talk like that?

Fawful: Talk like what?

Pyro Guy: Your crazy broken English! Everything you say is ‘of’ something! And only half of what you say makes sense! What's up with that?

Fawful: I have the speech of normality!

Pyro Guy: No you don't!

Fawful: I had the concusioning.

Pyro Guy: What?

Fawful: I have 89 concussions and 83 of them are from the Letta of Cackleness.

Pyro Guy: So Cackletta beat you a lot.

Fawful: Yesness!

(Fawful breaks down crying.)

Pyro Guy: No wonder you hate her so much.

Fawful: No. I hate her for using me. I have FURY!!!

Pyro Guy: AHHHH!!!

(Pyro is repeatedly bombed.)

Pyro Guy: OW! Why did you do that?

Fawful: I had flashbacks!

Pyro Guy: Augh. That actually sounded coherent. Just how did she use you, again?

Fawful: She wanted me to stop the Brothers of Marioness. But when it was over she was going to send me to the Where of Under!

Pyro Guy: One big question. Why were you putting on shows at Bowser's castle?

Fawful: I went to a school of acting before I became Cackletta's kick of the side. It has always been a hobby of mine because have chortles when I act.

Pyro Guy: Have you been to Yoshi Theater?

Fawful: I did shows there for weeks before Partners in Time.

Pyro Guy: If you hadn't found the Shroobs in the freezer, then why was one at your show?

Fawful: It escaped and had been in the castle of the Koopas for years.

Pyro Guy: And no one ever found it?!

Fawful: I wasn't in charge of security then.

Pyro Guy: .... Kay then, we have time for one audience question; seat 71.

Larry: What launched you through the window when this Interview started?

Fawful: I had the catching of the ball of foot-ness.

(He pulls out a football and then Midbus, Bowser, Wario, Petey Piranha, Wart, Lord Crump, and Daisy jump through the window and tackle him.)

Pyro Guy: I guess this wraps up the Interview.

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