Larry: Welcome to the official reboot of Larry’s Interview Show. Today we are going to do what TNA Wrestling always does and pretend that the events of our previous episodes never happened.
A. Goomba (in audience): Why? The Yoshi Interview was great!
Larry (playing dumb): What Yoshi Interview?
A. Goomba: Yoshi was interviewed by me and a random Wiggler last episode.
Larry: That never happened.
A. Goomba: YES IT DID! You can’t deny that I, Annoying Goomba, did a brilliant Interview with Yoshi.
Larry: For the last time, the events of our previous episodes are non-existent and if you don’t be quiet I will have you kicked out.
A. Goomba: Fine! It never happened. By the way, your hair grew back nicely since the Mario Bros. shaved all it off.
(Larry remembers last episode, when Luigi revealed Larry was bald after it was shaved off by a barber who was really Mario in disguise.)
Larry: THAT’S IT!!! GUARDITUS!!! KICK HIM OUT NOW!
(A bunch of Lakitus led by Lakithunder grab A. Goomba and drag him out of the studio)
A. Goomba (while being dragged): WAIT A MINUTE! Lakithunder wasn’t made an official Guarditu since last episode, therefore HE SHOULDN’T BE A GUARDITU… (imitating Larry) BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED!
Larry: HURRY UP AND GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
A. Goomba: YOU’RE A HYPOCRIT!
(Larry slowly calms down.)
Larry: Now that we got him out of the way, thank you for joining us for my show’s official reboot after a long hiatus. Lately there has been so much talk about Roy’s Sports Hall since it’s approaching its 10th season, and I, Larry Cheatsy Koopa, who won Season 6, will be victorious in the upcoming 64-person tournament and will prove that I am the greatest fighter in the Sports Hall.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Someone in the Audience: Mack is the best!
Someone Else: Popple is the true champion.
Larry: I could beat those two losers easily.
Another Audience Member: L33t Hamm3r Broz FTW!
Larry: There’re not even in the tournament. Anyway, to celebrate, I successfully blackmailed Roy into having to be interviewed tonight. So here’s my stupid, weak, and pathetic brother… ROY!!!
(Roy comes out, ready to beat Larry up.)
Roy: That’s it, you’re really going to get it this time!
(Larry holds up a videotape.)
Larry: Am I?
(Roy immediately stops in his tracks.)
Roy: Grrrrrrr... Can you at least tell me who will interview me?
Larry: Pick 2 numbers between 1 and 9.
Roy: WHO’S INTERVIEWING ME?!
Larry: Answer my question first, please.
Roy: 9 and… 2. NOW TELL ME WHO’S INTERVIEWING ME!
Larry: You will interview by Season 9 winner, Waluigi!
(Waluigi comes out.)
Waluigi: IT’S WALUIGI TIME!
Larry: And Season 2 winner, Blooper.
(Two Hammer Bros. push out a large fishtank with Blooper inside. He’s wearing the Fighting Crown he won in Season 2.)
Blooper: Great to be here.
Waluigi: Waluigi says we should start this Interview right now.
Blooper: I agree.
Roy: I refuse to go along with this.
(Larry appears on a large TV screen behind them, on which he is holding the videotape from before.)
Larry: I am sure you want to.
Roy: Just start the Interview and make it quick!
Waluigi: Waluigi will ask the first question. Waluigi wants to know why you always wear those sunglasses all the time.
Roy: Because I have bad eyes.
Blooper: Then shouldn’t you wear proper glasses?
Roy: They are proper glasses. They are custom made just for me. They have been made to look like sunglasses so they make me look cool.
Waluigi: Waluigi is curious of why you are nicknamed Bully.
Roy: Can you stop talking like that?
Waluigi: Waluigi is the interviewer so Waluigi will ask you the questions. So please answer Waluigi’s question. Why are you nicknamed Bully?
Roy: Well why do you think?
Waluigi: Waluigi will guess because… you’re a bully?
Roy: Of course. I always bully my siblings just for the fun of it. Nothing makes me happier then beating up Iggy, electrocuting Larry, or making Lemmy cry by popping his ball.
Blooper: But what about your other siblings?
Roy: I… have nothing against them.
Blooper: Or is it that Ludwig and Morton are both capable of beating you up?
Roy: They can’t beat me up! I’m stronger than them! I could beat those two down at the same time if I wanted to.
Blooper: Yeah right. Now new question, why did you rule Sky Land in the first place?
Roy: I wanted Desert Land but that idiot Morton managed to convince King Dad to give it to him. Sky Land turned out to be the last land left since my siblings claimed all the others.
Blooper: But it appears you ended up with Desert Land later.
Roy: Yeah, Morton, for some stupid reason, wanted some mountain place, so I was able to claim Desert Land.
Blooper: Why did you end up with the Forest of Illusion?
Roy: I was supposed be in the castle in front of King Dad’s in the Valley of Bowser. But Larry got punished for a prank he played on Wendy and was moved from his original choice of being in the forest and was put there to be a weak attempt to tire Mario out before battling King Dad. He should’ve kept me there. I would have ended Mario before he could even enter King Dad’s castle and we would have had the princess successfully captured.
Waluigi: Waluigi can’t think of any questions at the moment so Waluigi will ask a question from one of these cue cards provided by Larry.
(Waluigi picks up a cue card.)
Waluigi (reading cue card): How awesome was it when Larry Koopa won Roy’s Sports Hall Season 6?
Roy: That was a FLUKE! Shadow Mario would have won if Larry wasn’t lucky. He is so pathe…
(Larry appears on the screen with the videotape in his hand again.)
Roy: He… (gag) deserved to win because… he was a truly good fighter and deserved to win the Fighting Halo.
Blooper: How can you possibly tolerate running the Sports Hall every week?
Roy: Simple, it’s the best job in the world. And Season 10 is going to be EPIC since I am going to win!
Waluigi: But Waluigi knows that you still need to win the Wildcard round to even be in the tournament since unlike Waluigi, you haven’t won enough to be in the top 60.
Roy: Grrr… Don’t remind me. I should be NUMBER 1!
Blooper: If you are such a good fighter then why is it that you have never won a Season Championship like me or Waluigi?
Roy: Ummm…
Waluigi: Waluigi thinks you are afraid to admit to been beaten so many times.
Roy: I have won more times than I have lost!
Waluigi: Waluigi wants to know who you REALLY think will win Season 10.
Roy: All of the champions won by a FLUKE! I am the TRUE CHAMPION! I WILL WIN THE WILDCARD ROUND AND I WILL WIN THE TOURNAMENT!
Waluigi: NO! Waluigi Number 1!
Blooper: It’s obvious that I could beat you two even if I had two tentacles tied behind my back. I will be the winner of Season 10.
Waluigi: Waluigi could beat you, Blooper, with Waluigi’s hands and legs tied behind Waluigi’s back. You are just a little weak Blooper.
Blooper: At least I won with offense. All you did was answer some Mario Party questions correctly and hide, and you were simply lucky enough to be declared the winner.
Waluigi: Well Waluigi won a Fighting Burrito!
Blooper: I won a Fighting Crown that’s actually worth something, not a stale piece of food that you probably already ate.
Roy: AWWW SHADDUP! Just do the audience questions now so we can get this stupid Interview over with.
Waluigi: That’s fine with Waluigi.
Blooper: I’ll pick first since I’m the better fighter of the three of us!
Waluigi: Waluigi knows you’re not!
Blooper: (ignores Waluigi) Seat 49.
Spike: Were you always bald?
Roy: No, when I was a lot younger I had purple hair similar to the color of my current shell.
(A photo of a 3-year-old Roy with a purple Mohawk is shown on the screen.)
Waluigi: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Blooper: HAHA! You do look quite stupid with that Mohawk.
Roy: Do you want me to pound a hole in your little tank?
Spike: So what did happen to your hair?
Roy: As everyone has said, I looked stupid with it, so I used some chemical from Ludwig to make myself permanently bald. Now I’m the coolest-looking Koopaling of them all. Now please change that picture on the screen. I’m actually being polite for once.
(The picture on the screen changes to Karma choking Roy with his own tail.)
Crowd: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Roy: STOP HUMILIATING ME!!!
(Backstage, Larry is at the main computer.)
Larry: This is so much fun, and I haven’t even played my special videotape yet!
Back onstage...
Blooper: Seat 129.
Boo: Why are you pink?
Roy: I was born pink, and I love it! Pink is such a manly color. I did, however, switch shell colors since the purple made me look more cool and tough.
Waluigi: Waluigi chooses Seat 594.
Paratroopa: What’s with that cool New Yorker accent?
Roy: I watch a lot of Mafia movies, I’ve been watching them since I was like 3 and eventually I just got started talking with this accent.
Fire Bro: Why did you try to beat Mario by popping out of random pipes?
Roy: I was so sure I could outsmart Mario, but that didn’t work. If it did I would have made sure Mario would never stand again.
Larry: That concludes this Interview. Now before we finish, I’m going to show you all something.
(Larry holds up the videotape.)
Roy: DON’T YOU DARE PLAY THAT TAPE!
Larry: Hmmm… I’ll make you a deal, I won’t show this tape, but on one condition.
Roy: What condition?
Larry: GUARDITUS!
(The group of Lakitus strap Roy to an Electric Chair.)
Roy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!
Larry: Ok Lakithunder, NOW!
(Lakithunder strikes a lightning bolt to power the electric chair.)
Roy: WHA-BLAGITYBLAGITYBLAGITYBLAGITY!
Larry: You like electrocuting me on your show so I’ll electrocute you on MY show. Well, that’s tonight’s Interview. Now I am going to train for my Season 10 victory. Goodnight everybody!
Waluigi: Waluigi is gonna win the tournament!
Blooper: I’m the one who will win!
Larry: Shut up! Both of you! I will win t-
Koopa Troopa: END TRANSMISSION!
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