Angelette: Welcome back, people! Today I will be interviewing Toad.
(Angelette turns around and sees he’s not there.)
Angelette: Hey, where’s Toad?
Peach: He’s doing an impossible task for me.
Kelly: Then what’s the point of him doing it?
Peach: I’m bored and I felt like giving him something stupid to do.
Toadette: That’s mean. You should treat him better.
Peach: When he’s not a useless servant, I’ll treat him better.
(Toad comes in, wet and tired.)
Toad: I tried… to drown the Cheep Cheeps in your moat… I couldn’t do it…
(Toad starts walking towards Peach, but Devin trips him.)
Devin: Haha!
Toad: Ow, my nose!
Dino: You don’t have a nose.
Toad: What? *gasp* I… can’t breathe…
Angelette: -_-
Kelly: O.o
Dino: *<)=(
Lakitina: What kind of face is that?
Dino: A mad smiley in a party hat.
Peach: Look at Toad. He looks so pathetic!
(Peach kicks Toad in the face.)
Toad: Ow! I have a nosebleed!
Dino: For the last time, you don’t have a-
Peach: Get up, Toad, you’re getting interviewed.
Toad: Oh, okay!
(Toad wipes the blood from his “nose” and runs up the stage to sit in the interviewee chair.)
Angelette: Okay, let’s get started.
Toad: Okay!
Angelette: My first question is, how did you get in the castles before Mario did in SMB?
Toad: There are a lot of holes in the castles and I can fit through a lot of them to get inside.
Dino: Even with that massive head of yours? Hehe.
Angelette, Toad, Toadette, and Devin: HEY!!!
Dino: I’m just saying.
Toad: Well I did manage to squeeze through!
Angelette: And you were able to get to every castle before Mario and tell him that Peach wasn’t there?
Toad: Yep!
Mario: That wasn’t helpful! What WOULD have been helpful is if you told me the exact castle she was in!
Toad: But that wouldn’t be a real adventure, would it?
Mario: … Maybe…
Angelette: On to the next question, are you a coward?
Toad: No, I’m very brave!
Peach: *&$#! Your “bravery” is what gets me captured all the time!
Toad: I was the hero in Wario’s Woods. That counts as me being brave.
Angelette: What loser would be scared of Wario?
Wario: They don’t fear me, they fear my stink!
Lakitina: That’s so true. Yuck!
Angelette: Next question, how did you get that amusement park in Mario Party 4?
Toad: Oh… um… I… I stole some money from Peach’s bank account… to pay for it…
Peach: WHAT?! YOU PATHETHIC, USELESS EXCUSE FOR A SERVANT, I’LL KILL YOU!!!
Toadette: Calm down, Peach, it was all in the name of fun!
Peach: Grrrr…
Angelette: What happened to the amusement park?
Toad: After the events in Mario Party 4, I made a bet with Game Guy. I lost and he converted the amusement park into a casino.
Peach: NOT ONLY DID YOU STEAL MY MONEY FOR YOUR DUMB AMUSEMENT PARK, BUT YOU LOST ALL THE MONEY THAT WENT INTO IT?! YOU’RE SO DEAD!!!
(Toadette and Kelly are holding Peach back so she won’t kill Toad.)
Angelette: What was the bet?
Toad: That I would star in my own game before Mario Party 5. It never happened.
Angelette: So can you run fast?
Toad: Oh yeah, I was the fastest out of all of the characters in SMB2.
Angelette: Then how come you weren’t fast in Mario Superstar Baseball?
Toad: I wasn’t in Mario Superstar Baseball. All the Toads that were on Peach’s team were her other assistants.
Angelette: Why weren’t you in it?
Toad: Toadsworth wanted to play baseball since he’s never been in a sports game before, so Peach let him join her team. She still needed someone to watch over the castle, so she made me do it.
Angelette: What about going to Isle Delfino in Super Mario Sunshine?
Toad: I didn’t go there either. She made me watch over the castle while everybody else was able to go on vacation, relax, and have fun. That was so unfair!
Angelette: And let me guess. You weren’t in Super Mario Galaxy either, were you?
Toad: No, and I’m happy I wasn’t. I didn’t want to be stuck in space with Mario, anyways.
Angelette: Okay, time for audience questions. Seat PINKPRINCESS.
Peach: I’LL KILL YOU!
Angelette: Not a question. Seat GREENDINOSAUR.
Yoshi: Why do Toads wear diapers?
Toad: Our legs are too short for pants and shorts, so we wear diapers. And they’re soft and comfy!
Angelette: Seat FLOWERPRINCESS.
Daisy: How is it working for Peach?
Toad: It’s not that bad. I get paid a lot so that’s good. It’s just when Peach is in a bad mood she’s cruel to everyone.
Angelette: Seat LOSERBROTHER.
Luigi: Why do I get the bad seat name?
Angelette: Too bad. Ask your question.
Luigi: Didn’t you used to be Peach’s escort?
Toad: Actually Toadsworth was always Peach’s escort from the beginning. It’s just that he retired for a while and I was the replacement. Then Peach wanted him to come back after she complained about me being a lousy escort.
Angelette: Seat SMARTGOOMBA
Goombella: Why were you used as a shield in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?
Toad: I was complaining to Peach about how she always gives me a bunch of pointless, unnecessary tasks. Then she said she would give me a very important task for me to do soon. Next thing I knew I was getting punched and kicked in the face!
Angelette: Last question, seat PINKMUSHROOM.
Toadette: Did you know that Peach’s voice didn’t get stolen by Cackletta in Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga? Because you went to their house to tell them that it did.
Toad: Actually I didn’t know.
Mario: So it was YOUR fault me and Luigi went on that stupid adventure!
Toad: Well Peach didn’t tell me ahead of time, so it wasn’t my fault.
Angelette: Well that’s it for today. Join us next time on the next-
Devin: Wait, wait! He has to spin the Wheel of Choice.
Angelette: Toad’s life is already miserable as it is, now go away!
Devin: Toad, you could possibly win a vacation!
Toad: Let me spin it!
(Toad spins the wheel. It stops.)
Devin: And it looks you get to spend a nice vacation on Isle Delfino-
Toad: YES, YES!
Devin: -with Peach!
Toad: WHAT?!
(Toad turns around a sees Peach fully equipped with weapons, Bob-ombs, Bullet Bills, knives, and other destructive stuff. She’s giving Toad an evil look and giving an “I’ll cut your throat” gesture.)
Toad: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Devin: It’s either Peach or you can get smashed by a giant Thwomp.
Toad: I’d rather get smashed by the giant Thwomp!!!
(Toad looks up and sees a Thwomp falling from the roof. The Thwomp smashes Toad through the building’s floor. He is sent to the hospital.)
Peach: I wanted to beat up Toad with my weapons…
Toadette: Oh no, Toad!
Angelette: *sigh* I was hoping no one would ever get hurt on my show.
Devin: Not with me here!
Angelette: Didn’t I tell you to leave?
Devin: No.
Angelette: Kelly, can you “show” Devin the exit.
Kelly: My pleasure!
(Kelly grabs an aluminum baseball bat, smacks Devin with it, and sends him flying through the wall and out of the building.)
Devin: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! My nose!!!
Dino: For Pete sake, Toads don’t have noses!!!
Angelette: That’s it for today. Join me next time on the next Interview.
Lakitina: End Transmission.
Whoops! You're not logged in! |