1-up Boo: Greetings, mortals who I do not care about! Today is a very special Interview!
Vim (very hurt): How?
1-up Boo: All right, what happened?
Vim: Void went berserk on me, remember?
1-up Boo: Oh yeah… Anywho, today is a very special Interview due to certain things! Today, my awesome minion Void will interview an X-Naut!
(The audience is silent. 1-up Boo blasts them with his rocket launcher.)
Audience: YAAAAAAY!!!
1-up Boo: Come in here, Void!
(Void floats in.)
Void: Why the dramatic entrance?
1-up Boo: Just to remind the audience that they have to fear you now as well.
Void: Sweet.
Kingfin: Who Void interview again?
1-up Boo: An X-Naut.
(…)
1-up Boo: All right, where is he?
(Suddenly the X-Naut bursts through the door, panting.)
X-Naut: Grodus is still making me do janitor duty!
1-up Boo: Do we care?
X-Naut: You should, he’s on his way right now.
1-up Boo: Oh…
(BOOM!!!)
Grodus: JANITOR DUTY!
X-Naut: NOOOOOOOO!!!
(1-up Boo pulls out his rocket launcher, Kingfin summons the mechanical sharks, Void starts charging a big shadow blast, Vim puts on a karate belt.)
1-up Boo: That’s lame.
Vim: Fine.
(Vim rips it off and runs off, coming back with 1-up Boo’s hammer.)
Grodus: Okaaaaay… I just wanted to say… hello to this Goomba! Bye!
(Grodus runs off.)
Goomba: What?
1-up Boo: Ha. Loser. Well, time to start the Interview.
(The X-Naut sits on the chair.)
1-up Boo: Now…
(1-up Boo snatches the hammer from Vim’s hand.)
1-up Boo: Mine.
Void: What do I do about this big shadow blast?
1-up Boo: … Blast it at that Koopa.
Koopa: What?
(BOOM! The Koopa flies off.)
1-up Boo: Cool. Okay, NOW we start.
X-Naut: Yay.
1-up Boo: Void, you may begin.
Void: Okay, are you X-Nauts just a certain species in a suit?
X-Naut: That specific information will not be given to a shadow thing of doom!
Void: Umm… Right, is Lord Crump one of you? As in your species?
X-Naut: Yes. He’s just really fat.
Void: What’s your opinion towards Lord Crump?
1-up Boo: Please show us by what you do to this doll of him.
X-Naut: Well, he’s okay in some cases but in other cases…
(The X-Naut pulls out a strange radio thing and speaks into it. 101 X-Nauts with giant guns come in. They shoot the doll until it is… ashes, I think.)
Void: … Okay.
1-up Boo: Interesting. Now all of you X-Nauts that just came in, get out.
X-Nauts: Why?
(1-up Boo pulls out his rocket launcher.)
1-up Boo: Isn’t it obvious?
(They all run off.)
1-up Boo: Ha.
Vim: You are so cruel.
1-up Boo: Yes I am.
Void: Can regular X-Nauts train to become an X-Naut PhD?
X-Naut: I believe so. But I prefer not to be one.
1-up Boo: Why?
()
X-Naut: In case they want to learn how to make potions and other funky things of doom.
1-up Boo: You sure?
X-Naut: YES!
1-up Boo: Really?
X-Naut: Stop.
1-up Boo: You don’t have control over me. I can turn you in to Grodus.
X-Naut: You win.
Void: Do X-Nauts have any other purpose besides serving Grodus?
X-Naut: On Saturdays we like to go out for ice cream.
Void: …
1-up Boo: …
Vim: … I’d do that too if I weren’t forced to be stuck here.
X-Naut: Isn’t Joe Koopa’s such a great ice cream place?
Vim: I know!
1-up Boo: BACK TO QUESTIONS!
Void: Okay, are Elite X-Nauts more powerful because they train more?
X-Naut: Well… Yes. But X-Naut PhDs also uses a power potion to increase their stats.
Void: I guess I’ll move on to audience questions. Seat 22.
Toad: Why do you X-Nauts wear those goggles?
X-Naut: They’re stylish and functional!
Void: Seriously?
X-Naut: Yep.
Void: Okay… Seat 5.
Number 5: Does it hurt when you do the body slam attack?
X-Naut: Err… It can depending on how hard we do it.
Number 5: Fascinating.
Void: Umm... Right, seat 5,005.
Bonechill: Are Yux’s related to you?
X-Naut: No. They’re just a creature we created when we were bored.
Bonechill: Are you related to anyone?
X-Naut: I don’t think so.
1-up Boo: You know, there’s been no violence in this Interview yet.
(1-up Boo blasts half the audience members out of the studio.)
Vim: No violence?! You threatened to blast all the X-Nauts, Void shot an innocent Koopa, plus you threatened Grodus!
1-up Boo: Liar. Why do you lie, Vim? Lying is bad, don’t lie.
Vim: I didn’t lie.
1-up Boo: Yes you did.
Vim: How?
1-up Boo: How should I know? I just know you lied.
Vim: …
Kingfin: Boss smart.
1-up Boo: Thank you.
Void: The X-Naut left.
1-up Boo: Eh?
Void: The X-Naut left.
1-up Boo: … But ho-
(CRASH! Lord Crump comes in with a strange machine tank robot thing.)
Lord Crump: Buh huh huh! X-Naut refuses to do janitor duty! He will pay! Because of my… MAGNUS VON GRAPPLE 3.0!
(Lord Crump’s robot hand reaches behind a curtain and pulls out the X-Naut.)
X-Naut: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Lord Crump: Buh huh, and for keeping him captive you will pay!
1-up Boo: How?
Lord Crump: SELF DESTRUCT!
()
(KABOOM!!! 1-up Boo, Vim, Kingfin, and Void go flying out of the scorched studio.)
1-up Boo: You would think he wouldn’t just sacrifice his Grapple thing like that.
Kingfin: We fly!
Vim: Why?
1-up Boo: Because, Vim. Because.
Vim: ARGH!!!
Void: Shall I?
1-up Boo: Yeah.
Void: End Transmission.
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