Phantos67: Yup, I'm bored again.
Wacko: Well, that's just nice, Boss.
Phantos67: Would you mind-
Wacko: Yes, I would mind. So "no", I'm not doing an Interview with you.
Phantos67: Fine, I'll interview with somebody else then.
Wacko: Well, that's FINE with me.
Wacko exits the room. Phantos67 gets out a chart of his interviewing partners.
Phantos67: YTtF-12, Fireball-3, James Issac Koopa-2... I want to interview with somebody NEW. Like... this guy, Black Boo. Well, I’d better warp him here so I don’t die of boredom.
(Phantos67 turns on his warping machine, selects Black Boo, and warps him there along with Mom Piranha.)
Phantos67: Welcome, interviewing pard, and interviewee... to my castle!
Black Boo: Where am I?!
Phantos67: ... I just told you that you were in my castle.
Mom Piranha: RAAAAAWR!!!
Phantos67: G Bloop, the translator, please!
(G Bloop comes in listening to her music, and places the translator on the giant Piranha Plant, then leaves, still bopping to her tunes.)
Mom Piranha: What is the meaning of this?!
BB: I'm as lost as you are. *looks over at Phantos67* What's the big idea? I was working, you know!
Phantos67: I'm looking for a new Interview partner, just for this Interview, and you're the lucky one.
BB: Lucky, he says. Fine. Sooner this is over, sooner I can get back to work... Then again, I could stick around.
Phantos67: Yeah, yeah. Now let's get started.
BB: That’s fine with me.
Phantos67: You’re the second person who has said that this Interview. So Mom Piranha... Can I call you Mom?
Mom Piranha: No.
Phantos67: Ok, I’ll just abbreviate your name with an MP. *fourth wall shatters* So what games do you appear in?
MP: Only Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga.
Phantos67: Why?
MP: Because I didn’t feel like getting killed again. That’s why.
BB: Why not audition for a sports game?
MP: ... Y'know, I never thought of that. I guess it's because my son Petey keeps hogging the spotlight.
BB: Ouch... So... Petey's your son?
MP: Yes, that's right.
BB: ... EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!
Phantos67: The gossip magazines will be here in the morning. Boy, do I have something to tell them! So if Petey's your son... how come he was seen before you hatched out of that egg, in the game Partners in Time about 15 years before?
MP: Petey jumped into a timehole and went to the past. There he battled the Mario Brothers and their younger counterparts. As for why I hatched out of an egg, I actually hid in the egg just to make the Mario Brothers do more work to get to me.
Phantos67: (writing) Interesting... I'm just making notes for the gossip magazine, if you wanted to know.
MP: I don't really care...
Phantos67: You don't, huh? Thud!!!
(Thud comes out of nowhere and hits Mom Piranha with a great Thud smash.... Mom Piranha is still getting over the dizziness. Please hold on while she does that.)
MP: I'm done.
(Ok! Now... on with things...)
Phantos67: The narrator is testing his abilities out. The horror.
BB: I'm officially scared now.
(BB pulls out a hammer and smacks Phantos67 over the head with it.)
Phantos67: Am I supposed to say ouch?
BB: Yeah.
Phantos67: Ouch then.
BB: Or I could enjoy it.
Phantos67: Too late.
BB: Anyway, what allows you to switch your color and element?
MP: Magic.
BB: ... You win this round. Why the airstrip? Why not, say, the beach or the town?
MP: The airstrip allowed me to be a pain and make the Mario Bros. fight me. If I were on the beach or in the town, they could just walk on by or ignore me. This way, I was a problem.
Phantos67: You do know that there is more than one runway, right?
MP: They were shut down.
BB: Uh... Audience time?
Phantos67: Kinda early on my watch...
BB: Your watch is slow.
Phantos67: Maybe yours is fast, ever think of that?!
BB: Just call a seat.
Phantos67: Whatever, sure, you win. I'll be back though!
BB: Call a seat!!!
Phantos67: Seat I'M A PAIN IN THE NECK!
(The camera zooms in on Black Boo.)
BB: Very funny.
Phantos67: Ok, I'll just ask one more before the audience questions kick in. How come when one Piranha Plant died, another sprouted up moments after?
MP: Because they were actually my "hands" and were attached to an underground root system, so I could simply have another pop up.
BB: Hey! Now I get to call first seat! Seat... TOASTY!
Phantos67: ... TOASTY? Who named these seats?
BB: You did. Remember?
Phantos67: ... Oh yeah.
Podaboo: What are your stats?
MP: Uh... Like I'm supposed to know that? This isn't Paper Mario, kiddo.
Podaboo: ... Oh.
Phantos67: May I refresh your memory for one moment? *ahem* Mom Piranha has an HP of 220, Defense 60, Speed 40, and Points for beating is 400. And you get 50 coins too.
Mom Piranha: ... How do you know so much about me?!
BB: He's a trained bounty hunter. It’s his job to know.
Phantos67: Yup. ARG!!!
BB: ... No, that's a pirate. And I know you're a bounty hunter because I'm a ninja.
Phantos67: Whatever. Seat GARLIC!
Wario: Any valuables I could steal?
MP: None. I'm just a plant.
Wario: Dang.
BB: Seat OOA!
Nayru (From the Legend of Zelda): How large of a root system do you have? To be able to sprout that many hands, I'm sure it would have to be big.
MP: You bet. It runs all across the Beanbean Kingdom, and it's one mile deep!
Phantos67: Wait, wait, wait... How did a Legend of Zelda character get in here?!
BB: I invited her. You got a problem with that? *uses evil eye*
Phantos67: Nope, just fine... Please stop staring at me that way, I'm breaking out in goosebumps.
Wacko: I didn't know a Phanto could get goosebumps...
Phantos67: Well, we can. Seat OUCH.
Shy Guy with Nipper Plants biting at his flesh: OUCH!!!
BB: Ask a question.
Shy Guy: How do you make that energy ball you used all the time?
MP: Since my roots are so big, one of those days when I was growing, some of my roots grew into a nuclear energy source for the Mushroom Kingdom. It started sending nuclear energy throughout my roots and made me a bit bigger, kind of fat, and able to make an energy ball if I stored it up enough and extracted enough energy from the plant.
Lemmy: Nice answer! Very nice, good explanation and-
Phantos67: *sigh* Do your thing, Thud.
(Thud crushes Lemmy.)
Lemmy: I'll remember this when you want me to post this Interview of yours!
(Phantos67 immediately shoos Thud off of Lemmy, gives him a Fudgesickle, and gives him a pat on the back.)
Lemmy: Too late. No amount of pampering will sway my decision.
Phantos67: In that case…
(Phantos67 throws Lemmy out the window.)
BB: Now was that REALLY necessary?
Phantos67: Yes.
BB: *sigh* Seat UNPAIDKOOPA, then we're done.
Hal the Koopa: So... how much do you get paid?
MP: Cackletta pays me 100 bucks an hour. It's a pretty good gig since I don't do much anyway.
Hal: ****! Why the **** does everyone get paid?!
BB: Watch your language.
Hal: ... Figures.
Phantos67: I'll edit it out when this is over.
Hal: *****!!!
Phantos67: And I'll take that out as well.
BB: Okay, that's it, I'm done.
Phantos67: Says who?! You have to mop my floors first!
(Black Boo hits Phantos67 with the mop.)
BB: Clean your own floors, you lazy bum!
Phantos67: I am NOT lazy! ... G Bloop, go mop the floors, I want to watch TV now.
BB: LAAAAAAAAAAZY. Okay, I'm done here.
(BB smashes the camera and teleports away.)
(Transmission interrupted)
Phantos67: That's new...
BB: The camera is broken, you can't still be talking!
Phantos67: Look who’s talking! You just teleported away! Besides, I have to end the transmission!
BB: Then do it!
Phantos67: You're just cross because I'm cooler.
BB: No, you ar-
Phantos67: END TRANSMISSION!
(Transmission Ended!)
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