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PHANTOS67 AND JONATHAN JOHNNY JONES interview BOWSER
 
By zz1666 and Phantos67

11/22/08

(Phantos67 is warped to his own castle.)

Phantos67: Woah! What happened?! I was just with Your Twin the Fourth! I’m... back at home?

G Bloop: WOW!

Wacko: YEEEEEEEEEESSS!!! HOME SWEET HOME, AT LAST!

Phantos67: Interview time then, Welcome... JONATHAN JOHNNY JONES!

Wacko: Another co-op? You've got to be kidding me.

Phantos67: Nope! TELEPORT TIME!

(Jonathan Johnny Jones and his crew are teleported to the castle.)

Phantos67: Welcome!

JOHNNY: Mighty fine castle you got here, Phantos67.

zz: Wow, two co-ops in a row. I hope Crump doesn't get too mad about this.

Wacko: My boss is a co-op freak!

Zeek: That Blooper is really creeping me out.

G Bloop: ...

Cod: Don't be scared, you wimp.

Mr. Salty: Do you have any salt? I mean, it's been a whole two minutes since I've last ate salt.

JOHNNY: So Phantos, who do ye have planned for interviewing?

Phantos67: Bowser the so-called Koopa King.

Bowser: I am the Koopa King!

Phantos67: Uh-huh. Whatever. Q1, why are you so obsessed with capturing Mario?

Bowser: I just can't stand it! He beats me EVERY single time!

Phantos67: You should just give up. Oh, and you didn't answer me.

Bowser: I just did. He beats me every time, so I have to try again.

Phantos67: Shouldn't you just give up?

Bowser: Come again?

Phantos67: Your turn, Johnny.

JOHNNY: All right. Who is your favorite Koopaling and why?

Bowser: I hate them all!

Lemmy: What?!

Bowser: Wow, you actually believed me. You know I just joke around. Now, I love them all so much…

(They all start shining big smiles.)

Bowser: But I'm going to say Lemmy, because he is the owner of Lemmy's Land, and I have to send him into the dungeon the least.

Lemmy: I knew you loved me the most.

Bowser: Lemmy, not in public.

Audience: Ha ha!

Bowser: Rawr!

(In a fit of rage Bowser spits fire, burning half the audience.)

Bowser: That ought to teach him.

Phantos67: In Mario and Luigi 3, you are a playable character. Want to tell us a bit about that?

Bowser: Classified until release date, but I will tell you that I am VERY Important.

Phantos67: Answer me this. Why did you team up with the Mario Bros. in Superstar Saga?

Bowser: I was going to double cross them afterward

JOHNNY: Liar!

Bowser: Says you!

JOHNNY: How did you get the name Bowser?

Bowser: Morton Koopa Sr. wanted to give me a tough-sounding name.

JOHNNY: That's a dumb reason.

Bowser: Shut up!

Phantos67: What's your relationship with Kamek?

Bowser: He was my babysitter when I was little. Then he babysat my kids for me. He's in my army and he does what I want.

Wacko: Interesting. So why did you ground pound him in Yoshi's Island?

Bowser: I was mad at him. We had a fight before about turtles and microwave ovens.

Wacko: Sounds deep.

Bowser: Oh, it was.

JOHNNY: Liar!

Bowser: That must be your favorite word to say.

JOHNNY: Liar!

Bowser: You're a liar.

JOHNNY: Arg, this be getting boring. Why did you choose to build your castle in Dark Land?

Bowser: Simple. No one else wanted Dark Land, it was the only available place, no one ever goes there, and it’s dark and scary.

JOHNNY: I'm never going there!

Bowser: You're scared.

JOHNNY: No I'm not!

Bowser: BOO!

JOHNNY: Ah! Who said that?!

Phantos67: ...

Wacko: Ask a question, Boss.

Phantos67: Fine. Bowser, how come in Super Mario RPG you looked horrible?

Bowser: That's because the game’s graphics totally stunk. Ask a good question.

Phantos67: Ok. Why do you hate Mario? Couldn't you just live in peace?

Bowser: No. It all started when Baby Mario beat me up in Yoshi's Island. I hate him. He ruins all my fun.

Phantos67: Audience question time. I'll let you call the first seat.

JOHNNY: That's so generous of you. How about you in seat 10?

Zip Toad: Have you ever though of teaming up with other villains in an attempt to beat Mario?

Bowser: I don't need no stinking help from any of those so called "villains". I'm the only true villain, and the only one who can come close to beating Mario.

Phantos67: Seat REALLY COOL ARTIST!

Stan: You should make your enemies look like my drawings. So here's a question. Did you make all those enemies yourself?

Bowser: A few like Bob-omb and Bully, others I just found.

JOHNNY: Seat 36!

Boshi: How come you always kidnap Peach instead of Daisy?

Bowser: Simple. If I successfully kidnap Peach, I control the Mushroom Kingdom, which is far superior to Sarasaland.

Phantos67: Seat WIGIT THE PIDGIT!

Wigit the Pidgit: How come you don't go after Dream Land?

Bowser: Wart is taking care of that right now. Someday I'm going to takeover for him.

JOHNNY: Let's wrap it up with this final question, seat 2.

Koops: How come you aren't friends with the friendly Koopas who aren’t in the army?

Bowser: Those panzys are too nice, and are no use to me, as they don’t hate Mario and they can’t fight.

zz: Nice Interview.

JOHNNY: Arg, as long as I'm in it, how can it be bad?

Cod: Let's just hope Crump isn’t too mad.

Mr. Salty: Crump is an idiot, that's all.

Zeek: Uh Salty, he’s right behind you.

Lord Crump: Yo, how am I stupid, dog?

(Crump punches Salty all the way back to the second grade.)

Lord Crump: JOHNNY dog, I’d better be in your next Interview, or else.

Phantos676: Well, thanks for coming, guys! Maybe we could do it again soon.

Wacko: DON'T INVITE THEM AGAIN! PLEASE, NO MORE CO-OP INTERVIEWS!!!

Phantos67: You’re in for a looooooong ride, Wacko. We may be home, but not for long!

G Bloop: I'm ending this. END TRANSMISSION!

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