Last time on The Shrugger’s Interview Show…
(Yoshi eats Shrugger.)
Pit: …NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE, CALLS PIT TRIAL “ANGEL THING”.
Pit: When the author stops being cruel to us, the dino is dead.
Afro: YOU’RE NOT COOL!!!!
Yoshi: Yoshi like Fireball. Fireball humiliates Luigi and Wario, and likes Yoshi and Mario. Yoshi’s least favorite is Shrugger Shroob though. His favorite characters are Toad, Luigi, and Wario, and he hates Yoshi and Mario.
Fawful’s Ghost: …Me thinks that Shrugger of authorness will be revising the great Fawful’s Ghosts’s bio with an addition to the enemy list after this.
Shrugger: …DOES THIS MEAN YOU’RE GONNA JOIN THE CREW?
(Yoshi eats Indiana Jones and the bullwhip.)
(Yoshi now starts going on a rampage, eating everyone besides Fireball and the Thwomps.)
(Afro starts going super-hyper, bouncing up and up Yoshi’s throat until he gets out. However, Yoshi tries to eat him again, but Afro scurries out before he can eat him. The last 17 Thwomps then surround Yoshi, so he cannot eat anything but…)
Y-Naut: Fire Musical Guy, end transmission, and wait until Afro comes back.
In the present…
Shrugger: WHEN WILL THAT HYPER GOOMBA GET BACK?!
Kamek: In 20 presses of the enter button.
(Kamek, once again, peeks through this computer’s monitor and
…does that again.)
Afro: I’M BACK, EVERYONE! AND WITH THE KEY TO GETTING YOU OUT OF YOSHI’S BELLY!
Big Bob-omb: I say, what is going on here-
Musical Guy: Big Bob-omb- Whoops. Hire me again, someone.
Y-Naut: Musical Guy, you’re hired.
(Anyway, Big Bob-omb is thrown on the interviewee’s seat. I don’t really know how we know that, considering that the camera and everyone else is trapped in Yoshi’s belly, but…)
Afro: BIG BOB-OMB, I’M HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU!
Shrugger: NO, YOU’RE HERE TO-
(Lemmy covers Shrugger’s mouth.)
Shrugger: MM MMM MMM!
Big Bob-omb: That sounds nice. But where is the camera and audience?
Afro: IN YOSHI’S BELLY, AND THERE ISN’T EVEN A CAMERA IN THERE.
Big Bob-omb: Then how is anybody supposed to watch it?
Lemmy: Me, Shrugger, and the laws of physics in the Marioverse have it covered.
Big Bob-omb: Okay. But how are we hearing each other?
Lemmy: Blame Shrugger.
Big Bob-omb: Oh. And-
Lemmy: START THE INTERVIEW THIS INSTANT OR SHRUGGER SHROOB IS BANNED FROM LEMMY’S LAND!
(Okay, okay! The flashback probably covered it for you, but last time on-)
Lemmy: LEMMY’S-
Steven: Metagross, use Meteor Mash!
BOOM!
(-The Shrugger’s Interview Show, everyone got eaten by Yoshi and Steven joined the crew!)
Afro: FIRST QUESTION! WHY ARE YOU THE KING OF THE BOB-OMBS?
Big Bob-omb: Why, because I discovered the Mystic Powder Keg that allows Bob-ombs to explode multiple times and have a personality!
Afro: INTERESTING. WHY DOES THE MYSTIC POWDER KEG DO THAT, DUDE?
Big Bob-omb: Long, scientific version or short, sappy version?
Afro: BOTH!!!
Big Bob-omb: Very well. The short, sappy version is it awakens something inside of ourselves. The long, scientific version is this: The Mystic Powder Keg somehow reactivates and updates a couple computer chips that are inside every Bob-omb- the AI and Exploder.
Afro: COOL! WHY DID THE CHIPS GO OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Big Bob-omb: One day, we got too smart and realized that the Koopas were taking advantage of us. So we got in a war with them, and were winning, until one night Kamek, a sibling of Morton Sr, Kent, Hookbill, and three others you don’t know about went and cast a spell on us Bob-ombs, deactivating the computer chips.
Afro: ANY RELATION TO THE OTHER MAIN BOB-OMBS IN THE MARIO SERIES?
Big Bob-omb: No.
Afro: SINCE BOB-OMBS ARE ARTIFICIAL, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT *INSERT RANDOM BOB-OMB HERE* IS YOUR COUSIN, ETC?
Big Bob-omb: There are a total of four Bob-omb factories that are known of. Every month, they send out a load of 250 Bob-ombs. If you are in the same load as another Bob-omb, you are called siblings. If you came in the load before another Bob-omb, you are called their father. If you came from the same load but from different factories, you are called cousins.
Afro: SO… TWO MONTHS MAKES YOU A GRANDPARENT? WOW, YOU AGE FAST.
Big Bob-omb: Well, not ACTUALLY. Bob-ombs are not considered adult until they have been alive one year, and that’s when they can explode. After that, however, they need to touch the Mystic Powder Keg, or else they get game-overed when they explode.
Afro: YOU GOT AWAY FROM THE QUESTION.
Big Bob-omb: Oops. Anyway, after a Bob-omb gets four “greats” in his or her name, he becomes a 7-gener. Every month after that, the 7 is increased by one. After you become a 100-gener, you are considered an adult. 500 makes you a senior citizen.
Afro: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
Big Bob-omb: I’m a 1,000-gener, the oldest Bob-omb alive.
Afro: IF THE KOOPAS DID THAT THING MENTIONED IN AN EARLIER QUESTION, WHY DO BOB-OMBS STILL WORK FOR THEM?
Big Bob-omb: The only reason that they did that to us is that we were fighting against them. So we’re just not fighting against them!
In Bowser’s Castle…
Bowser: Grr… I feel angry all of a sudden… BRING ME A RANDOM KOOPA!
Kammy: What is it, my- AHH!!!
Bowser is beating Kammy up for no reason at all.
Back at Shhwonk Fortress…
The people in Yoshi’s belly: YEAH… RIGHT…
Afro: NEXT QUESTION! WHY DID YOU NEED TO BE THROWN THREE TIMES OR GET THREE BOB-OMBS THROWN AT YOU, BUT WHEN MARIO THREW YOU OF A CLIFF, YOU RESTORED ALL OF YOUR HEALTH?
Big Bob-omb: Good question. Now, us Bob-ombs are chivalrous folk. We have to be, or else we would never be beaten if we had the Mystic Powder Keg. There are only two real ways a Bob-omb can get game-overed: one, if we explode without the MPK activated on us; and two, if a skilled technician goes in and messes us up. The rules of that battle were if Mario threw me three times, he’d get the Power Star. He threw me three times.
Afro: UMM… AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!
Big Bob-omb: … There isn’t an audience.
Afro: THEN PHONE QUESTIONS!
(What? Phone questions? Aw man. What was the number again, Shrugger?)
Shrugger: IT WAS *whisper whisper*
(Okay. If you want to ask a question, call the following number: )
1-800-Shrugger’s-Interview-Show-of-randomness-but-not-as-much-as P.T-
Piranha’s-interviews-but they’re-still-good-in-someones-opinion-man-
this-number-is-long-and-ripoffish-of-Sgt.-Fly’s-and-we-are-starting-to
sound-like-Morton-AHHHH!!!
RING RING!
Videogamerpat, Shady Parakoopa, Joshua, Crazy Koopa, Fillet-O-Fish, Fireball, P.T. Piranha, and Sgt. Fly: WE’RE SUING!
Afro: WE DON’T HAVE A LAWYER. AND ASK A QUESTION FOR BIG BOB-OMB
The authors whom Shrugger stole jokes from: We don’t have one.
*CLICK*
RING RING!
Roy: THANK YOU for saying my shell is blue, Shrugger, in that Scribble of yours! Also, what do you say to Nastasia for beating you, Big Bob-omb, a few months back?
Big Bob-omb: Grrr… Don’t mention that name in front of me…
RING RING!
Larry: PAPER LARRY IS SO BAD!
Afro: YES, IT IS. AND ASK A REAL QUESTION.
Larry: How do Bob-ombs become Bulky Bob-ombs or Bob-ulks?
Big Bob-omb: Bob-ombs eat gunpowder as food. Those kinds ate a lot of gunpowder.
Shrugger: UHH… IS THIS ENOUGH QUESTIONS, LEMMY?
Lemmy: I think so.
Shrugger: THEN I HAVE A QUESTION. BIG BOB-OMB, COULD YOU DO SOMETHING FOR US?
Big Bob-omb: What is it?
Shrugger: COULD YOU PLEASE JUMP IN YOSHI’S BELLY?
Big Bob-omb: … Oh, I see where you’re going. No way. BUT… I have another way.
Big Bob-omb snaps his fingers, and… No! Not that!
Big Bob-omb: DROP THE BOMB, ROB-OMBS!
Afro: NO!
(Afro jumps in Yoshi’s belly.)
Big Bob-omb: … How is that supposed to stop me? DROP!
(*gulp* A Subspace Bomb lands in Yoshi’s Belly.)
Subspace Bomb: 60... 59... 58...
Everyone in Yoshi’s belly: AHHHHH!!!
Lemmy: SUBSPACE ISN’T EVEN A MARIO PLACE!
Luigi: NO IT ISN’T, BUT WE’RE NOT HEADING THERE!
Lemmy: THEN WHERE ARE WE HEADED?
Luigi: THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MARIOVERSE!
Everyone in Yoshi’s belly: AHHHHH!!!
Shrugger: WELL, WHO’S IN HERE? AFTER ALL, WE’RE PROBABLY STUCK WITH EACH OTHER FOR A LONG TIME.
(HERE!)
Shrugger
Y-Naut
Musical Guy
Mrs. I
Thwomp 64
Pit
Goomboss
Kamek
Iggy
Fawful’s Ghost
Afro
Steven Stone
Indiana Jones
Lemmy
Luigi
Toad
Peach
Wario
Ludwig
Marton (Mario + Morton)
Stuffwell
Prince Peasley
O’Chunks
General Guy
Toadbert
Subspace Bomb: 9... 8... 7...
Goomboss: WAIT! YOSHI DIDN’T EAT THE WHEEL OF INTERVIEWEES!
Shrugger: AND I DIDN’T FIRE MUSICAL GUY!
Mrs. I: AND I DIDN’T END TRANSMISSION!
4... 3... 2... 1
Shrugger’s Interview Crew: *insert unintelligible gibberish that contains something about transmission and Musical Guy here*
BOOM! Yoshi: Yoshi don’t feel so good… TRANSMISSION ENDED Whoops! You're not logged in!
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