(Anti Dude is playing a Nintendo DS when Baron von Bon comes in.)
Baron: Is that Cooking Mama?
Anti Dude: (stammering) Uh, no, what makes you think that? Heh heh... It's nothing! Nothing at all!
(Anti Dude throws his DS against the wall and stomps on it.)
Baron: So, was it Cooking Mama?
Anti Dude: DESTROY THE EVIDENCE!!!
(He runs away through the wall.)
Baron: (reading title) Hungry Luma? Didn't we have one of those in our crew?
Hungry Luma: Yay! I finally get to speak!
Baron: Do you have a name?
Hungry Luma: Yes. Foodius Maximus. Please, no jokes about my name being similar to the scientific word for-
Baron: I don't care. ROY, GET OVAH HERE, YA FOO!
Roy: Yeah?
Baron: You'll interview the new guys. 'Cept Shexy and Bee Mario 8.
Roy: K. Who will work the camera?
Baron: I will. Get out there!
(Roy runs onstage with the interviewees.)
Roy: First question. What are your names?
Foodius: I told you. Foodius Maximus. Sounds like the scientific word for-
Bandit: AAHHHHHH!! Everyone can s-s-s-see me on c-c-c-c-camera! M-m-m-my name i-is Bandito. AHHHH! Sorry, I'm prone to p-p-p-p-panic attacks. V-v-v-v-very tense.
Roy: Now that everyone has had a speaking role-
Ninjee: I like the tacos!!! Be diddly bo be bop beep bop!
Roy: Creepy. Now that everyone has spoken, start the Interview!
Baron: Rolling!
Roy: Fatty, why are Hungry Lumas so hungry?
Foodius: >:( We have a special organ called a Flamboozzlebone that gives us an addiction to food.
Roy: What about those wand things?
Foodius: We use them as eating utensils in the Observatory so our food doesn't float away. It won't float here, but I still like these.
Roy: What about the Luma that told Mario about the Prankster Comets?
Foodius: He got his Flamboozzlebone removed, but he's still fat.
Roy: Were you any of the Lumas in-game?
Foodius: No. I was born before that and then went to Plit.
Roy: What is the lifespan of a Luma?
Foodius: 500-1,600 for a regular Luma, but once they reach 1,000, they become a Polari.
Roy: There's more than one?
Foodius: Yup. Hungry Lumas live 500-800 years.
Roy: Are you a subspecies?
Foodius: Mmm-hm.
Roy: Now for Bandito. What's with the business getup?
Bandito: I-I-I-I'm a secretary, s-s-s-sir.
Roy: Is that mask your face?
Bandito: N-n-n-no. But it is c-c-c-c-c-c-c-controllable to sh-sh-sh-show emotions.
Roy: So, are you like a Shy Guy subspecies or what?
Bandito: We're d-d-d-d-distant cousins.
Roy: Do most Bandits live in Rogueport, Yoshi's Island, or the Dry Dry Desert?
Bandito: D-d-d-depends. AHHHHHH! Sorry.
Roy: Why do some Bandits wear different robes than others?
Bandito: To sh-sh-sh-sh-show their r-r-r-r-r-r-ranking in The Thieves Clan.
Roy: Wha? Thieves Clan?
Bandito: It's a s-s-s-s-secret! I can't t-t-t-t-tell!! DON'T ASK ME!
Roy: What's the highest rank?
Bandito: It g-g-g-goes like:
1. Badge Bandit
2. Big Bandit
3. Red Bandit
4. Coin Bandit
5. Blue Bandit
Baseball B-B-B-Boys are a whole d-d-d-d-d-different story.
Roy: Audience questions! Seat ICANTTHINKOFAGOODNAMEFORTHISSEAT.
Toad Kid: Where do babies come from?
Roy: And it looks like that's all the time we have today! See you next time on Anti Dude's Interview Show!
Bandito: T-t-t-t-t-t-that's all, folks!
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