JOHNNY: Can I get mustard on that?
Lord Crump: Yo dog, no one likes mustard.
Dark Puff: I do.
Lord Crump: Shut up, dog!
JOHNNY: Hey, he’s the one we’re interviewing today!
Lord Crump: Hey man, mustard is the best, dude!
JOHNNY: Stop brownnosing.
Lord Crump: Yo dude, you’re the one sitting there eating a hot dog!
Dark Puff: I like hot dogs.
JOHNNY: Mr. Hoggles?
Dark Puff: Duh, how can you not like them?
Lord Crump: Yo man, shut up!
JOHNNY: Hello, he’s the one we’re interviewing today!
Lord Crump: Hey, let’s all have hot dogs, dude!
Dark Puff: I know you’re just brown osing me.
Lord Crump: Impossible dog, my nose is blue, man!
JOHNNY: You don’t even have a nose.
Lord Crump: … I knew that, dude.
JOHNNY: I think we should start the Interview.
Dark Puff: What gave you that idea?
JOHNNY: Shut up, I bet my IQ is way higher than yours!
Lord Crump: Who’s the one backsassing the guy we’re interviewing, dude?
JOHNNY: But he started it!
Lord Crump: Silence, man!
Dark Puff: Can we start now?
JOHNNY: Right, I’ll ask the first question. So Dark Puff, what’s your natural turf? I mean, are you a Boogly native, or are you the one who is in The Mind Bogglers in Rogueport?
Dark Puff: Actually I’m both.
Lord Crump: Elaborate, dog.
Dark Puff: When I first lost to Mario, I realized how weak I was, so me and my two friends, Pale Piranha and Pider, set of for Glitzville. Little did we know we would all end up fighting Mario again.
Lord Crump: Yo man, even though you lost horribly to Mario, how much do you hate him?
JOHNNY: I wouldn’t be talking.
Lord Crump: So did you, dog!
JOHHNY: Aye, you’re right, but alas, we were really friends.
Dark Puff: Now this may sound weird, but I always liked Mario. See, when I was a little cloud, I had dreams of being a hero like Mario, so I always respected him and his deeds. When I came across him in the Woods, I only attacked him because every 395 years, 6 months, and 9 days a red-mustached cloud god comes and tries to turn all the Puffs back into clouds. When I first saw him, I immediately thought it was the cloud god, so I attacked him. When I lost and was still a Puff, I realized that I had attacked Mario. When I fought him in Glitzville, killing him wasn’t on my mind like it was in the Woods.
JOHNNY: What do you mean by “When I was a cloud”?
Dark Puff: Ok, you know how clouds form when they go through condensation and the form with water?
Lord Crump: Da, the water cycle, dog.
Dark Puff: Yeah, when a cloud condenses too much of another substance, such as electricity, that cloud comes to life as a Puff. If a cloud condenses too much electricity, it becomes a Dark Puff, like me. If it takes in too much ice and cold air, it becomes an Ice Puff. Too much heat and dry air leads to Ruff Puffs, and too many toxins leads to Poison Puffs.
JOHNNY: So that explains why there aren’t many clouds out in the desert?
Dark Puff: Yup.
Lord Crump: Yo dog, so does that mean you weigh a lot?
JOHNNY: If that’s too personal you don’t have to answer.
Dark Puff: No, I’ll answer it. Actually, as I’m all electricity, I weigh virtually nothing, seeing as electricity doesn’t have much weight and king of lays in the air. However, Ruff Puffs have weight because they’re made of mostly sand, Ice Puffs because they are mostly made of Ice, and Poison Puffs have toxins swishing around in there.
Lord Crump: Yo dogs, time for my favorite part of the Interview!
JOHNNY: The end?
Lord Crump: No you silly dog, when the audience asks questions dog. Ok, the dude in seat 18, dog.
Toadette: I’m a girl!
Lord Crump: Ok, what I meant to say was the dudette in seat 18, dog.
Toadette: I hate dogs, and I’m a Toad!
Lord Crump: Oh, just ask a question, dudette!
Toadette: Fine, is it possible for a cloud to condense too much water, and become an Aqua Puff?
Dark Puff: Nope, a cloud can never condense too much water. If it condenses way more than it should, it just becomes a really big cloud.
JOHNNY: You in seat.. 4.
Mr. Hoggles: I heard you saying you like my hot dogs. If I started making Goomba Dogs, would you buy them?
Dark Puff: Yuck! Listen pal, your hot dogs are amazingly good, but don’t ruin their greatness.
Lord Crump: Time for one last question, dog, how about-
JOHNNY: You in seat six!
Lord Crump: Hey man, you took my turn!
JOHNNY: Like I’m going to let you get in more questions than me!
Lakitu: Is it possible for my cloud to turn into a Puff?
Dark Puff: Well duh, it’s just like a normal cloud. If you wan to prevent that, I recommend you make sure the cloud get lots of water.
Lord Crump: Yo, there one more dog with his hand up! The dude in seat 11!
Dimentio: You seem to be very calm and happy, but what do you hate?
Dark Puff: It may seem weird, but nothing.
Dimentio: Oh come on, there must be something you hate!
Dark Puff: No, nothing in my life has ever bothered me.
JOHNNY: No, now we’re tied for amount of people called on!
Lord Crump: Come on, any more of you dogs got a question?
Dark Puff: I think all their questions have been answered.
JOHNNY: Ha, seat 1!
Lord Crump: No, dog, no!
Popple: How come they call you “Dark Puff” when you’re always so happy?
Dark Puff: Excellent question, the answer… I’m not sure, but my grandpappy told me the first Dark Puff added the “Dark” part to keep people away, so we could live a safe, happy life.
Lord Crump: I guess this Interview is over, man.
JOHNNY: End transmission!
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