Wario: Wah, I'm tired of those Mario Bros!
Waluigi: Again, you start without explaining the day.
Wario: It's nice out.
Waluigi: That's what you said last time, I'm not even sure I can trust you anymore with this sort of information.
Wario: Go look out the window for a change!
Waluigi: Eh.
Wario: Now where was I... oh yeah, I think you should really complete Donkey Kong 64, you've been putting it off for ages.
Waluigi: I thought you were talking about Mario and Luigi or something?
Wario: Now that you bring it up, those Mario Bros. got on my last nerves today!
Waluigi: Woah, I think I'm feeling a flashback moment!
Wario: Uh, no, you're not.
Waluigi: Oh... Well go on.
Wario: Well I went to the store today to get my all-time-favorite bag of chips: ketchup chips. When I went to the store, there were no chips left!
Waluigi: You mean Mario and Luigi took the last bag of chips?
Wario: I guess, I don't know.
Waluigi: In other words, you just want to pick a random fight with them.
Wario: Pretty much, yeah.
Waluigi: So what did you get for chips?
Wario: A normal bag of chips and a bottle of ketchup. I poured the whole bottle in the bag.
Waluigi: Why?
Wario: I thought that's how they made ketchup chips.
Waluigi: No... But how did they taste?
Wario: Awful.
Waluigi: Okay, so what's the plan to take out Mario and Luigi?
Wario: The who and the what now?
Waluigi: You were mad at Mario and Luigi because you thought they took the last bag of chips.
Wario: I was?
Waluigi: Why do I even bother...
Wario: Let’s go over to Mario's house and teach those Mario Bros. a lesson for no reason!
Waluigi: But... but... ah, never mind.
So Wario and Waluigi went to the Mario Bro. house.
Wario: Hey losers!
Waluigi: Knock on the door first.
Wario: Oh yeah, how silly of you to forget that.
Wario smashes the door.
Waluigi: I said knock!
Wario: Who's there?
Waluigi: Never mind.
Wario: Never mind who?
Waluigi: You!
Wario: I don't get it.
Mario: Why did you knock down my door!
Wario: Yeah, Waluigi?
Mario: I should have known it was you, Waluigi!
Waluigi: Yeah, I totally did it. Wario is just an innocent bystander.
Luigi: What's going on, Bro?
Mario: They knocked down our door!
Wario: Only to beat you up for taking the last bag at the store today!
Luigi: Oh yeah, we did.
Wario: I knew it!
Waluigi: I can't believe it.
So the four overalls-wearing fellows started fighting, only for Mario and Luigi to easily win and knock them out towards some building...
Wario and Waluigi: WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
CRASH
Wario: Uh... Where are we...?
Waluigi: Ugh... Still in front of Mario's house.
Mario: I knew I should have punched them, Luigi.
Mario gave the two a punch so hard they flew to Bowser's Castle!
Wario and Waluigi: WWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
CRASH
Wario: Uh... Where are we... ?
Waluigi: Ugh... At Bowser's Castle. Didn't you hear him say it?
Wario: Who?
Waluigi: Exactly.
Just then, the door to Bowser’s Castle opened.
Bowser: Time for me to randomly open the door like usual... Hey, what are you guys doing on my lawn!
Wario: This is your lawn? Seems more like... a lawn to me. Yeah, I told you, buddy!
Bowser: Yeah, my lawn is like a lawn. Anyway, what happened to you guys? Not like I care!
Waluigi: The Mario Bros. beat us up and somehow accurately threw us over at your castle.
Bowser: What?! They did?! How dare they!
Wario: How dare they? How dare you!
Bowser: How dare me? How dare you!
Waluigi: How dare me? How dare you!
Wario: What are we daring about again?
Later...
Bowser: What do you mean later? It's still right now!
Waluigi: What?
Bowser: Uh... Anyway, I say we do something about those Mario Bros! Not like I want anything to do with you losers, but I have nothing else to do, and judging from my calendar, I missed my "Do something to annoy Mario" day, so I'll have to do something to make up for that.
Wario: Oh man, I hate missing those days. Then you have to replan for another day and blah...
Bowser: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Waluigi: So... should we get planning?
Bowser: Oh yeah, come inside the castle.
Peach: Hey Bowser.
Bowser: Hey.
Wario: You kidnapped Peach recently?
Bowser: Oh yeah, I keep meaning to send Mario that letter saying I kidnapped her but I keep putting it off. Should get to it after this...
Waluigi: Huh...
The three all sit at a table with a blueprint of Mario's house.
Waluigi: How did you get the blueprints to Mario's house?
Bowser: You'd be surprised what can be done with the right connections...
Flashback…
Bowser: Hey Mario, can I have the blueprints to your house?
Mario: Sure, here.
Bowser: Thanks.
End of Flashback…
Waluigi: Why does Mario own the blueprints to his house?
Bowser: Wait, how did you see my flashback?
Waluigi: I didn't, you yelled very loudly, pretty close to my ear in fact, about your flashback.
Flashback…
Bowser: BOWSER: HEY MARIO, CAN I HAVE THE BLUEPRINTS TO YOUR HOUSE?
Waluigi: Yeah, just yell in my ear there.
End of Flashback…
Bowser: Huh, I don't remember any of that.
Wario: Flashbacks from 30 seconds ago are the best.
Waluigi: Wait, how did you guys see my flashback- Never mind, I don't want to know the answer.
Bowser: All right, let’s get to planning!
After hours of coming up with a master plan...
Bowser: Okay, I think we’re ready to tackle those Mario Bros.
Wario: Well, Mario is the only real one we have to worry about.
Waluigi: I wouldn't be so sure, that Luigi sure can be... tricky.
Wario: Okay Waluigi, we know Luigi is your rival and you can't beat him.
Waluigi: Other then sports games, we haven't really had any conflict. For all I know, were on mutual terms or something.
Bowser: Let’s just take my Clown Copter, and get this plan underway!
The overgrown turtle and two unemployed cheapskates get in the Clown Copter and head for the Mario Bros. house.
Bowser: That was kind of offensive.
The three arrive at the Mario Bros. house.
Bowser: That was fast.
Wario: You were the one driving the Copter!
Mario: Hey, your Copter crashed into our house!
Bowser: Really? Oh wow, we did. He just said we arrived here, not crashed into your house.
Waluigi: What are you talking about?
Bowser: You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one really paying attention here.
Wario: What about our super awesome plan?
Bowser: Oh yeah, it's totally ruin- I mean, this WAS the plan, Mario! Crashing into your house, think of all the unwanted bills you'll have to pay to fix it again! Gwhahahaha! I'm so evil, it amazes me!
Mario: Oh no!
Luigi: We don't have to pay it, you’re the ones that crashed into our house!
Mario: Oh, I'm sorry, Luigi, I wasn't aware your name was in the title of the house.
Luigi: Still.
Bowser: You guys have no proof that we did it though!
Luigi: Well, for one thing, your Copter is stuck in our house.
Bowser: Oh yeah? We can just fly away, dummies!
Bowser tries to get the Clown Copter moving, but to no avail.
Waluigi: Crud.
Luigi: So your plan is a fluke!
Waluigi: Let’s be honest here, we had no plan. We just spent hours around a table talking about why blueprints had a blue background and why the word "Smackdown" is in Webster's Dictionary.
Wario: Speaking of blueprints, get all the blueprints in Donkey Kong 64, Waluigi. It'll be worth it.
Bowser: Please, you'll still have 20 minutes to spare.
Wario: That’s what you say now, but if something bad happened where you couldn't move for 20 minutes for some reason, then you'd be thankful you had those extra 20 minutes!
Bowser: I'd probably shut off the game and turn it back on.
Mario: Can we beat you up now?
Bowser: Yyyeeah, sorry, you should probably do that. You can probably just send me the bill. Oh yeah; Mario, I have Peach.
Mario: I'll get her in... two days. Does that sound good?
Bowser: Well, I'm free in the morning that day.
Mario: I was hoping it would be an all day thing.
Bowser: Oh, well you know what, just call me up, you probably know my phone number by now, and yeah, we'll take it from there. Hey, I guess coming over here wasn't a waste after all, at least I saved myself from writing a letter.
Waluigi: But now we’re going to get beaten up.
Wario: Way to bring up the negative, Waluigi.
So Mario punches the three all the way back to Bowser's Castle.
Waluigi: I wonder how he accurately punches us here, I mean, really.
Bowser: Well I'm going back inside.
Bowser leaves the two.
Wario: Wait, I actually think we have ketchup chips at home. My bad.
Waluigi: So we got beat up for nothing?
Wario: We sure did!
...
Waluigi: That’s your ending line?
Wario: Yeah, why, do you have a better one?
Waluigi: I'm not saying I do, but the author has given you the chance to have the last line, and it doesn't even seem like you thought it out.
Wario: I didn't, because I was busy doing all this stuff we did today.
Waluigi: You know what, let’s just end it right here.
Wario: Well this sure is an abrupt ending.
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