Luigi: I’m in the mood for porridge today.He makes his porridge and sits down to eat it, and when he does he notices a note on the table. It reads:
Dear Luigi
Bowser kidnapped Peach early
This morning and I went to rescue
Her. Don’t come and help.
From Mario
Luigi: How dare he go and fight Bowser without telling me? I must go and help!
So Luigi went to Castle Koopa, slipped past the guards. and went to Bowser and Mario’s “Fighting Arena”, where Mario, sure enough, was fighting Bowser and the Koopalings.
Bowser: Give up, Mario! You will never beat us this time.
Mario: You say that all the time.
Bowser: All right, but this time is different! I have a secret weapon.Bowser pulls out a piece of cheese. Mario follows the cheese with his eyes and begs like a puppy. Roy sneaks up behind him and hits him on the head with a hammer, pretty darn hard.
Mario: Ouch.
Mario faints. Luigi jumps out from behind the wall.
Luigi: I will destroy you, Bowser!
Bowser: You? Destroy me? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bowser laughs so hard that he implodes from losing so much air. Luigi quickly grabs Peach and his brother’s fainted body and rushes back to Mushroom Castle. By the time they get back, Mario is conscious again.
Peach: Oh Luigi, tha-
Toadsworth: Mario rescued the princess! Let’s have a party for Mario!
Mario: Party? Cool! Oh, and Luigi, you’re not coming.
Luigi: WHAT? Why not?
Mario: You came to try to help (even though you didn’t) when I told you not to while I rescued Peach and defeated Bowser.
Luigi: But I rescued Peach! And defeated Bowser!
Mario: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
Luigi: This isn’t fair!
Random Goomba: Ha ha! Stinks to be you!
Luigi goes outside the castle.
Luigi: THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO KILL THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE!!!
Luigi goes to the courtyard, where the party is taking place. He goes up to Mario.
Luigi: Hey, Mario.
Mario: Luigi? Guards! He’s here!
Luigi: Calm down, Mario I just want to show you something.
Mario: Is it a pony?
Luigi: Err, yeah. Follow me then.
They go to the Toad Town gunpowder store. Conveniently no one else is there.
Mario: I don’t see a pony.
Luigi: And you never will!
Luigi throws a lit match onto the gunpowder and runs out of the store very far, about a mile.
Luigi: I’m so clever.
Meanwhile the store blows up, sending Mario flying pretty darn high.
Mario: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Mario is sent about a mile from the explosion and (conveniently) lands on Luigi, totally unharmed.
Luigi: OOOOOF!!! Mario: Thad was fun! Again! Again! Mario grabs Luigi and runs back to where the gunpowder store was. Toad 1: We had better blow that store up like the princess said. Toad 2: Hey, look! It’s already gone! Mario: That explosion was fun! Toad 1: You did this? Thanks! Toad 2: Let’s have another party for Mario! Luigi: BUT I DID IT! DIDN’T I, MARIO? Mario: And Luigi, you’re not coming for lying. The Same Random Goomba: Ha Ha! Stinks to be you! Luigi: Stop saying that! Random Goomba: Make me! Luigi tries to stomp the Goomba but he just steps out of the way and Luigi falls flat on his face. Random Goomba: Ha ha! Stinks to be you! The Goomba walks away Luigi: It does stink to be me.
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