One day, as usual, Bowser was going to kidnap Peach.
Bowser: lolz! im commin' 2 kidnap u rite nao! lolz!
Narrator: All right, never talk like that again. Let's restart that.
Bowser: I'm coming to kidnap you right now!
Peach: I know you are, since I'm the best person ever. Who wouldn't want to kidnap me?
Bowser: ... All right then.
Bowser grabs Peach, throws her into his Clown Copter, leaves a note for Mario, and takes off.
Peach: I know I'm the best. That's why you want to kidnap me of all people. It's proof that I'm god.
Gloomtail: I thought I was.
Peach: Get out of this Scribble, you smelly dragon.
Gloomtail: What? I should kill you for that!
Peach: God commands you to leave!
Gloomtail: Starting to sound a bit like me…
Peach flicks her fingers and in seconds, Gloomtail disappears.
Bowser: Where did Gloomtail go?
Peach: I removed him from this story using my awesome powers. I'm the best. Everyone wishes they were me!
Bowser: You all right Peach?
Peach: I'm always all right. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be the best character ever!
They arrive at Bowser's Castle, and Bowser throws Peach into the dungeon.
Peach: Mario will come! He knows he wants me. Everyone wants me!
Back at the castle, Mario sees the letter.
Mario: So Bowser kidnapped her again? I guess it's time for-
Gloomtail: Time for lunch!
Gloomtail eats Mario.
Mario: Um... I'm kind of important to this story... If you eat me, this story can't continue.
Gloomtail: No, I want your role in this story!
So, Mario, er, I mean, Gloomtail, goes on his, or to be more precise, Mario's usual adventure. The only difference is it takes Gloomtail much less time to reach Bowser's Castle, as he just steps on everything in his way.
Gloomtail: It's tough being Mario.
Gloomtail spits Mario out.
Gloomtail: It's too hard being you.
Mario looks back at the trampled lands Gloomtail trampled on.
Mario: ... Um... Ok.
Mario goes into the castle and reaches Bowser's lair, where Peach is being held. As usual, Bowser is there.
Bowser: Mario... Peach is here...
Peach: Because I'm so awesome!
Bowser: ...and I want her gone.
Bowser hands Mario the key to her dungeon cell.
Bowser: Take her!
Mario: Umm... Ok.
Mario unlocks the dungeon cell and greets Peach.
Peach: I knew you wanted me. Who wouldn't?
Mario: Well... Let's get back home.
Peach: Of course, so everyone can admire my awesomeness!
They leave the castle, and Gloomtail is still out there, painting the beautiful sunset.
Gloomtail: Mario and Peach? I can't let them see this!
Gloomtail eats his painting and starts mega-breathing some Goombas.
Peach: Gloomtail, I command you to give my awesomeness and Mario a ride home!
Gloomtail: Never!
Peach spits on Gloomtail.
Gloomtail: That reminds me, I'm going to kill you!
Peach: Ah, you're no fun.
Peach flicks her fingers and Gloomtail disappears.
Mario: How are you doing that?
Peach: Well, since this story is about me and my awesome self, I have full command over what happens. So do what I say and I won’t have to use my awesome force!
Mario: Umm... Ok.
Peach: Mario, carry me back home.
Mario: Why?
Peach: I'm too awesome to walk.
Mario: No.
Wario: Did someone say Brawl?
Mario: No.
Peach: Yeah, let's Brawl!
Pit: The fight is on!
Peach: Hey, no non-Mario characters allowed!
Peach flicks her fingers, and Pit disappears.
Peach: Bowser. Brawl. Now!
Bowser: Fine.
And so, they start a Brawl tourney. Peach, Mario, Wario, and Bowser.
Peach: Let's start!
Peach immediately KO's everyone.
Peach: Yay, me and my awesomeness won!
Bowser, Mario, and Wario: Um... Ok.
Peach: Mario, carry me back home.
Mario: No.
Peach: *in a deep, evil voice* I said to carry me back home!
Lightning strikes in the background.
Mario: Umm... Ok.
Mario carries Peach through wind, rain, snow, sleet, hail, fire, darkness, and thunder, but eventually gets her home. Mario collapses on the castle floor.
Peach: Took you long enough!
Peach stomps off into her room.
Mario: We’ve got to do something about her.
Gloomtail: Yes.
Mario: Must you appear in every scene?
Gloomtail: But of course.
Wario: The great Wario agrees.
Bowser: Peach thinks she's all that. She's starting to bug me.
Gloomtail: Tonight,. 9 o'clock. My place. We plot there.
With that, Gloomtail flies off, and everyone goes back to their homes. At 9 o’clock Mario, Wario, and Bowser arrive at the Palace of Shadows to see Gloomtail dressed up like a military commander, with his Dry Bones dressed as soldiers.
Bowser: Are you plotting to takeover the world or something?
Gloomtail: Ah, my comrades. Have a seat at this table.
Everyone sits down at the table. Well, only Gloomtail. Since the table is so big, Mario, Wario, and Bowser have to stand on the table.
Gloomtail: Well, as you gentlemen are aware, Peach has become highly obnoxious and self-centered.
Mario: Correct.
Gloomtail: So, I have decided we must plan to takeover the world... Her world, that is.
Wario: How?
Gloomtail narrows his eyes.
Gloomtail: By killing her.
A loud scream is heard. Mario, Wario, and Bowser jump, looking scared
Gloomtail: That's just my ringtone. I'm getting a call, let me take this.
Gloomtail walks off, answers his phone, and walks back.
Bowser: Who was on the phone?
Gloomtail: Myself.
Mario: What?
Gloomtail: Wanted to make sure my new ringtone was in place. Man, you got to love the loud screaming.
Wario: Get back to what you were saying, how do we kill Peach?
Gloomtail: That is the only part of my plan that is missing.
Bowser: Why don't you eat her?
Gloomtail: She'll just flick her fingers and make me disappear.
Mario: So? If you eat her by surprise, and she makes you disappear, so will she.
Gloomtail: When she makes me disappear, I just get sent somewhere else on Plit. Eating her won't work.
Wario: We must destroy her source of power.
Gloomtail: What is her source of power?
Bowser: Videogames.
Bowser pulls down a projector and shows a picture of Peach playing videogames. A very beautiful, and most un-realistic, Peach sprite is walking onscreen, and approaches Gloomtail. Peach taps Gloomtail, and he turns into dust.
Gloomtail: That would never happen!
Mario: So how do we get rid of her videogames?
Wario: I have an idea!
Bowser: That's a first.
Wario: Mario, you get Peach to leave her room, the only place where her videogames are. Then, Gloomtail, you eat the room, getting rid of all videogames she has, then Bowser and I will come in and kill her with bazookas before she leaves the house to get videogames.
Gloomtail: I like it. But what can my Dry Bones army do?
Gloomtail turns to see a feather land on a Dry Bones, and he falls apart into a pile of bones.
Gloomtail: Good point. Let's go.
And so, out heroes set out to Peach's Castle. Mario knocks on the door to Peach's room.
Peach: What do you want?
Mario: Peach, I want you to come with me, as I must get a photo of me next to someone as awesome as you.
Peach: Of course. Anything for my adoring fans!
Peach leaves the room. Just then, Gloomtail eats her room.
Peach: %#(%Y#(!
Gloomtail: Don't mess with the best!
Peach: I'm going to kill you for good this time! You ate all my videogames!
Just then Wario and Bowser run in, shooting at Peach with bazookas!
Peach: I command you dunces to stop!
After several shots, Wario and Bowser stop, to see a motionless Peach on the ground.
Mario: We did it!
Bowser: ‘Bout time she's dead!
Wario: The great Wario is satisfied, although, Peach did nothing to me. Eh, whatever, I'm just glad she is dead.
Gloomtail: Yes! Hah, that teaches you not to mess with the Gloominator!
Mario, Wario, and Bowser: Gloominator?
Gloomtail: Yes, Gloominator.
The three laugh.
Gloomtail: Guess that does sound a bit geeky. So, no one call me the Gloominator from now on.
Mario: So who's going to rule the Mushroom Kingdom now?
Gloomtail: Me!
Gloomtail stomps on the ground, causing Mario, Wario, and Bowser to lose their balance and fall.
Mario: Guess it's Gloominator's kingdom now.
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