(For those of you who didn’t have a good Christmas, this Scribble is for you. For those of you who had a great Christmas or just a good Christmas, you should read it too. Hey, that rhymes!)
One day Mario decided to have a Christmas party. So he sent out party invitations to a bunch of people that said “Come to Mario’s house for a Christmas party, and BRING GIFTS!” And then on Christmas Eve...
DING DONG!
Mario: I-a wonder who that is!
Mario goes and answers the door and Luigi steps in.
Luigi: I-a know I live-a right next door, and we’re brothers, but I-a wanted to hear the-a doorbell ring!
Mario: Got-a any presents for me?
Luigi: I-a went over and got a nice big plate of pasta for you.
Luigi hands Mario an empty plate.
Luigi: But I-a got hungry.
Mario: YOU-A ATE IT?!
Luigi: Yes.
Mario: Oh well, it’s the thought that counts.
Luigi: That’s the spirit!
DING DONG!
Mario: I got it!
Mario answers the door and Bowser steps in wearing a Santa hat.
Bowser: Hey, I’m here.
Mario: I didn’t invite you.
Bowser: I brought a present...
Bowser waves a package in Mario’s face.
Mario: WELCOME!
Luigi takes the present and it says “Don’t open until Christmas Morning!” but Luigi opens it anyway. It blows up.
Bowser: I told you not to open it until Christmas morning. And that was for Mario.
Luigi: ...
DING DONG!
Mario: Wario! What a pleasant surprise!
Wario burps.
Mario: ... Or maybe not so pleasant.
Wario: Here’s your gift.
Wario hands Mario a gift card for zero dollars and zero cents.
Mario: 0_0
Wario: What? You thought I would give away MY money?!
Mario: Well... I wasn’t expecting much, but I thought-
Bowser: Don’t hurt yourself.
Mario: I’ll try not to.
DING DONG!
Mario opens the door to find Toad.
Toad: Peach said your party was too boring to come to. So she is attending Prince Peasley’s party instead.
Mario: Rats. Well, where’s my gift?
Toad: Gift?
Mario: To come here, you have to have a gift.
Toad: Oh yeah.
Toad punches Mario in the face and then leaves.
Mario: Ow.
KNOCK KNOCK!
Mario: Who’s there?
Other side of the door: Mii.
Mario: Me who?
Other side of the door: Mii.
Mario: (to self) This guy isn’t a player. (to other side of the door) You have to come up with a joke!
Mii: Just let me in.
Mario: Hmmm... That doesn’t sound very funny to me...
Mario opens the door to find a Mii.
Mario: Who are you?
Mii: A Mii, you know, a character you make on the Nintendo Wii?
Mario: Oh, come on inside.
Mii: Here’s your gift.
The Mii hands Mario three hubcaps.
Mario: Why are there only three?
Mii: I had to use one myself on the way over here.
DING DONG!
Mario answers the door, but he doesn’t see anybody. He walks out and is about to ask if anybody is there, but hears a SQUISH!
Goomba: Hey!
Mario looks down and sees a squashed Goomba.
Mario: Sorry. Umm... where’s my gift?
Goomba: (chewing) Gift?
Mario: You need a gift to come in.
Goomba: Oh, well... here.
Goomba spits his gum out and gives it to Mario. Mario shuts the door, looking down at the gum.
Goomba: (smiling) Merry Christmas.
He then walks off to join the others at eating.
DING DONG!
Mario opens the door and Donkey Kong comes in.
Donkey Kong: Here.
DK hands Mario a box labeled “Bananas”.
Mario: How-a thoughtful!
Mario opens the box to find one measly, half eaten, rotten banana. DK smiles and joins the others. Koops and Toadette open the door and come in.
Toadette: Hey Mario! Here’s your gift.
Koops: Yeah, here.
Koopa gave Mario a Barbie doll, and Toadette hands Mario a pink sweater with a tag hanging from it saying “To: Toadette, From: Grandma”.
Mario: I don’t-a believe this...
Koops: Sorry Mario. I kind of forgot your age.
Mario: And gender...
DING DONG!
Mario opens the door.
Mario:*disinterested* ... Yes?
Daisy: Hi Mario, I brought you a gift.
Mario: * disinterested * ... What is it?
Daisy: A bouquet of flowers.
Mario: Are they dead?
Daisy: No.
Mario: Fake?
Daisy: No.
Mario: Invisible?
Daisy: No.
Mario: YES! FINALLY A GOOD PRESENT!
Daisy hands Mario the flowers.
Mario: They’re-a lovely! Where’d you get them?
Daisy: The graveyard. It was on my way by.
Mario: 0_0
DING DONG!
Mario opens the door and Yoshi is there. Yoshi gives Mario a hug, but while he is hugging him he puts a sticker on the back of Mario’s shirt that reads “I’m a Fat Dummy!”
Mario: What a nice present! I-a love your hugs!
Yoshi grins. Mario turns to shut the door and everybody starts to laugh. Mario takes the sticker off of his back and looks at it.
Mario: 0_0
All the food had been eaten while Mario was opening the door and getting his pitiful presents. So Wario steals all of Mario’s possessions.
Wario: Well, better head on my way.
Mario: Ok, bye! Thanks for coming!
Everybody leaves except for Luigi.
Mario: Well, at least we have each other.
Luigi: I’m leaving to go to Prince Peasley’s all night party. Bye Bro.
Luigi leaves with his Christmas present for Mario.
Mario: ... I guess I will go to his party too.
Mario heads over and goes into Prince Peasley’s mansion.
Peach: PRESENT TIME!
Peasley: Awww, you shouldn’t have. Where are they?
Bowser: Here is one from me.
Bowser gives him a box with a label that says “Don’t open until Christmas Morning!”
Peasley: Could I open it now?
Bowser: Ummm... Ok.
Mario: NO! DON’T OPEN IT, IT’S A BOMB!
Peasley opens it, only to find that there is a gorgeous cake inside.
Mario: It must be poisoned.
Bowser: It’s not. I bought it special. I am part of the Peasley Fan Club.
Everybody except Mario: So am I!
They all get out their shirts that say “Peasley Power”.
Mario: I only have one person in my fan club, and that is me.
Wario gives Peasley a check for $300, Luigi gives him a four-course meal, Daisy gives him a two-way airline ticket to Oho Island, DK gives him a box of nice bananas, Peach gives him a statue of himself that reads underneath “Peasley Power!” and also gives him a quick peck on the cheek, Mii gives him five hubcaps, Goomba gives him three packs of gum, and he gets a lot of other great presents too.
Mario: 0_0
Mii: Remember, when I said I had to use one of your hubcaps on my way over to your house? Well, I actually wanted to give Prince Peasley five hubcaps instead of only four. Sorry.
Mario: 0_0
Peach: Mario, if you keep making that face, your face will freeze like that.
Mario: ... Why did you get him great presents, and get me pitiful ones?
Toadette: That’s what Christmas is all about!
Mario: No, it’s not! On Charlie Brown Christmas, they said something different!
Koopa: Well, Merry Christmas everybody!
Mario: A Dreary Christmas, indeed.
(I hope you haven’t had a Christmas Party THAT bad as Mario did.)
Mario: Next year maybe I should just buy myself the presents...
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