It's a lazy day in the Overthere.

Luvbi: I am feeling cranky and pubescent today.

Grambi: Oh, thou art, art thou?

Luvbi: Yes.

Grambi: Then go to school.

Luvbi: No.

Grambi: Aww!

Suddenly, a school bus with wings flies in and devours Luvbi, then spits her back out at a school in Dark Land... with a dress and ribbon. Roy happens by.

Roy: Hey. You need directions? I was just on my way to Nimrods 101.

Luvbi: That is not a class! ... Not a valid one, in any case.

Roy: So long, dork.

Roy stalks away.

Luvbi: *sigh* What was Father thinking, putting me in school in Dark Land? It is all Koopas and Goombas, nobody I recognize.

Squirps: Hey, Luvbi.

Luvbi: ... Well, except for thou. Hello, Squirps.

Squirps: Yeah, Squirps's mommy put him in school in Dark Land, too. Hasty decisions will get you nowhere in life.

Luvbi: We shouldst probably get to class...

Squirps: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

As the bell rings in a rhythmic pattern, Luvbi and Squirps walk in to a literal wave of students that are talking in gibberish.

Luvbi: Is it... always like this?

Random Koopa #B: Maybe. Anyways,
blakagaooloboabjebityliokricketotbutilikeapplesauce 
aopuyhlakhjwhyareyoureadingthisapooka...

Squirps: ... So, where's first period at?

Luvbi: First, we shall need a way to brave the student body.

A BIT LATER...

Luvbi and Squirps are riding on top of a brightly-colored Koopa shell over the student sea. Squirps is holding up a pennant in an imitation of a pirate flag.

Squirps: Yo ho ho, and a bottle of chocolate milk.

Luvbi pulls out a schedule.

Luvbi: Okay, for first period we hath Maths with Mr. Boomer.

Squirps: Technically, it's "Math", but whatever. You do speak with a British accent, anyway.

Luvbi: We art not in the correct part of the building. And to get there, we must brave...

Luvbi points to a hallway filled with student clouds shooting out student lightning and student octopus tentacles reaching out of the student sea.

Luvbi: ...the Student Sea of Storms!

Squirps: *gulp* Let's just hope we don't wind up on Student Crescent Island and have to tangle with Student Tokay and the Student Moonlit Grotto...

Luvbi and Squirps sail the S.S. Tryingtogettoclass through the Student Stormy Sea, and are almost instantly set upon by a gigantic student octopus.

Luvbi: Oh my! Squirps, man the student cannons!

Squirps does so, and fires a student cannonball at the student octopus. The cannonball leaves a giant hole in the octopus's head, and it breaks down into the sum of its parts in students.

Luvbi: Well, that is one sea monster down. Only my own father knows how many art left.

A second bell rings, and the student sea is drained away into the proper classrooms.

Luvbi: That was... rather anticlimactic. Oh well.

Squirps points to a room with a boomerang over the door.

Squirps: I think I know whose classroom we gotta go into! Follow me.

Luvbi does so, and they emerge into a classroom that looks like one of the Hand Traps from SMB3. A Boomerang Bro in army uniform stands at the far end of the room.

Mr. Boomer: YER BOTH LATE! GIMME FIVE HUNDRED PUSH-UPS!

Luvbi: No.

Mr. Boomer: AWWWWW!

Luvbi and Squirps take the empty seats. Squirps leans over to a nearby Shayde.

Squirps: Hi!

Shayde: Hey...

Squirps: ... Hi!

Shayde: Hey...

Squirps: ... Hi!

Shayde: Hey...

Squirps: ... Hi!

Shayde: Hey...

Squirps: ... Hi!

Shayde: Don't you have to be annoying somewhere else?

Squirps: Not for 11 minutes.

Mr. Boomer: CLASS! TONIGHT YOU WILL HAVE HOMEWORK! AND I WILL HEAR NO CRYING FROM ANY OF Y'ALL!

Luvbi leans over to Wendy, who is sitting next to her.

Luvbi: Didst thou hear that? Homework!

Wendy: Yeah, yeah.

Mr. Boomer: IT WILL FEATURE LONG LONG LONG DIVISION, SQUARE ROOTS, AND OTHER THINGS I HAVEN'T TAUGHT YOU YET!

Luvbi leans over to Wendy.

Luvbi: Didst thou hear that? Things he hath not taught us yet!

Wendy (visibly annoyed): Yes. I heard.

Mr. Boomer: BUT FOR NOW, EACH OF YOU WILL DO A WORKSHEET FEATURING EIGHT HUNDRED PROBLEMS!

Wendy leans over to Luvbi and starts impersonating the aforementioned Nimbi.

Wendy: Didst thou hear that? Eight hundred problems!

Luvbi: Yes, I know!

Wendy looks confused for a second, then shrugs it off.

Mr. Boomer: THEY'RE WRITTEN ON THESE ATOMIC BOB-OMBS, AND YOU MUST SOLVE THE PROBLEMS BEFORE THE BOB-OMBS GO OFF! OR ELSE! START WORKIN', LADIES!

Mr. Boomer throws massive Bob-ombs with an extremely fast 999-second timer on the side to each student�s desk.

Luvbi: ... Uh...

Luvbi begins reading what's written on the Bob-omb.

Problem One: 
Saffron has fifteen apples, Dyllis has ten, and Merlon has two. If Saffron gives Dyllis five apples, Dyllis gives four to Merlon, and Merlon divides his apples equally between the three, then why don't they all just shut up and eat?!

Luvbi raises a wing.

Mr. Boomer: YES, MA'AM?

Luvbi: May I please be excused for the rest of my game?

Mr. Boomer: NO! NOW KEEP WORKING!

Luvbi stares at the timer, which is now at 350 seconds.

Luvbi: Well, my game is going to end anyway.

Luvbi writes "Because they art idiots" beneath Problem One.

Atomic Bob-omb: NUMBER ONE PENCIL DETECTED. TIMER ACCELERATED.

The timer on Luvbi's Bob-omb accelerates to 000 seconds.

Luvbi: ... Should I fly away n-

Mr. Boomer's wing of the school explodes in a fiery rage. Every student emerges from the wreckage, battered and comically covered in ashes, but alive.

Mr. Boomer: THAT SHOULD TEACH YA TO USE ANYTHING BUT A NUMBER TWO PENCIL!

Suddenly, someone knocks on Mr. Boomer's door (which is still standing).

Mr. Boomer: COME IN!

The door opens, and in walks...

Mr. Boomer: PRINCIPAL BOWSER KOOPA! HOW NICE TO SEE YOU!

Bowser: Mr. Boomer... How do I put this delicately? ... You're fired get out.

Mr. Boomer: I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DENY A DIRECT ORDER, SIR!

Bowser: Really? Then you're not going to continue your game long enough to see your next birthday!

Bowser summons an inexplicable giant transforming Gundam robot and flies high into the sky. Mr. Boomer summons his own Gundam and jumps in.

Mr. Boomer: I JUST HOPE NO ONE'S GONNA SUE US FOR THIS!

Boomer and Bowser start a massive robot battle, with lasers, missiles, the works.

Wendy: Well, this is better than dinner theater.

What's left of the bell barely manages to ring, and the student sea quickly reforms.

Squirps: ... So, to the S.S. Tryingtogettoclass, then?

Luvbi: What dost thou think? Anyway, next period is English with... Oh no.

Squirps: What's wrong?

Luvbi: Second period is English with Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion!

Squirps: Oh. That's a bad sign.

LATER...

Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion: Good morning, class. I'm Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion. You may be wondering why I'm a Bob-omb with the last name "Spontaneousexplosion". Don't worry! I haven't spontaneously exploded before, and I'm not likely to n-

A spontaneous explosion ends Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion's game and destroys another wing of the building. Everybody gets covered in ashes again.

Iggy: Hey, guys.

Class: What?

Luvbi: He was not speaking to thou, Class.

Class: Aww...

Class gets up and leaves in a shame.

Squirps: Gee, that sentence was confusing.

Luvbi: In any case... What?

Iggy: I'm outta here. And if you want to interfere, you can kiss my-

Lemmy: HOLD IT!

Lemmy runs in, holding a clapboard.

Lemmy: Sorry, Iggy, but the pun you're about to make is much too inappropriate for this website. If you do not change the joke into something tamer immediately, I will have you removed.

Iggy: Grrr... Fine.

Lemmy gives the thumbs up and backs out of the classroom.

Iggy: If any of you want to know about the meaning of life, just ash me! But try not to sneeze; I nose way too much!

Iggy looks at the screen, and a wacky rimshot is heard. Cut to a pink, fuzzy, four-armed gorilla thing on an orange starburst background.

Kiwi: Ugh! ... That's terrible.

Cut back to Iggy. A Bob-omb ghost appears next to the aforementioned Koopaling.

Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion's Ghost: Iggy, sit down and stop making terrible puns.

Iggy: Fine, whatever... (Where's Luigi and his Poltergust 3000 when you need him?)

Iggy sits back down in his desk... which then crumbles to dust.

Luvbi: Hey! This fan fic is about me and Squirps, not Iggy!

Fine. A Thwomp randomly starts plummeting down onto Iggy's head. Iggy looks up as soon as he notices the shadow.

Iggy: ... I regret everything.

The Thwomp smashes Iggy's head into the pavement. Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion's ghost flies out of the way just in time.

Thwomp: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis this the caves underneath Yold Town?

Luvbi: Doth it LOOK like it is the caves beneath Yold Town?

Thwomp: Oh, good point.

The Thwomp disappears.

Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion's Ghost: Now, as I am a ghost at present, I am unable to teach. Go to your next period, I dunno.

Mrs. Spontaneousexplosion's ghost vanishes.

Random Student #B: ... So, recess, then?

Squirps: I don't see why not!

ONE RECESS LATER...

Luvbi: Squirps, put down that Muzzy toy at once!

Squirps: I don't wanna! He's so green and fuzzy... Mmm...

Muzzy: I am not a toy!

Squirps: So?

Muzzy vanishes.

Squirps: Noooooooo! Come baaaaaack, Mr. Fuzzy Green Man! Noooooo...

Bell: Ring ring. Ring ring, yo.

Luvbi: Ohh, doth it hath to be time for next period so soon?

Bell: You were playing for one whole period, you freaks.

Luvbi: I'm not a freak!

Luvbi glares at the bell, then picks up Squirps, and flies off to her next period.

Squirps: He was so fuzzy...

Luvbi: Shut it. He is gone now. Just let go. Let go.

Squirps: ...and he was green, too, just like Squirps! COME BACK, MUZZ-

Luvbi: LET GO!

Squirps: ... Shutting up.

Luvbi checks the schedule again.

Luvbi: Okay... Fourth period is physical education with Sir Wheelie. Hmmm... This may not be as bad a school day as I hath thought. Mmmm... Sir Wheelie.

Squirps: (All I pray is that he doesn't throw around the letter "f" like it's going out of style...)

Luvbi arrives at gym and throws open the doors.

Luvbi: Hello, fourth period! Hello, Sir Wheelie!

Random Student Letter 40: What are you talkin' 'bout? Sir Wheelie quit one second ago.

Luvbi: Truly? I demand a flashback.

Random Student Letter 40: Your wish is my command...

*FLASHBACK*

Sir Wheelie: Yes! Yes! I doth adore students who play by the rules and doth not hit each other with plastic glasses! By extension, that means I adore this class!

Kid X0: Hey, Sir Wheelie? Can I go to the restroom?

Sir Wheelie: This is the first and final straw! I am out of here, thee untamed mules!

*END FLASHBACK*

Squirps: ... *cough*highstrung.

Luvbi: ... So, what art thou doing presently?

Random Student Letter 40: Oh, we're just conga-ing through the locker rooms and vandalizing every square inch of bathroom space available. You wanna join us?

Luvbi: Conga yes, vandalism no.

Suddenly, a conga line bursts out through the locker room door. Not only is everyone wearing a lampshade on their head, but no one is doing the conga right.

Luvbi: ... No to both... Come, Squirps, we are leaving.

Squirps: Aww, but I wanna conga!

Luvbi grabs Squirps and flies out of the school, but is stopped by Principal Bowser's mech.

Bowser: Trying to skip school, eh? Detention every minute for five years.

Luvbi: Urgh. I loathe this place. Come on, Squirps, we art going to skip school.

Squirps: But-

Luvbi: Now!

Squirps: Awww...

And so, Luvbi went to skip school.

IN THE UNDERWHERE...

Luvbi: Mother, I am skipping school, and there is nothing thou canst do to stop me.

Jaydes: Well, there may be nothing I can do, but there is something they can do...

Underhand: Luvbi, I'm going to have to ask you to come with us. Skipping school is illegal now and it will continue to be illegal for the next few decades.

Luvbi: No! I hate school! Everything explodes in school! If thou should put me in school for any longer, my game shall end! Please! Thou hast to believe me!

Jaydes: Well... okay. We'll let you be homeschooled... if you want.

Luvbi: Yea verily!

Grambi: All right, Luvbi, today thou shalt learn how to handle Bob-ombs properly.

Luvbi: ... AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!