It was a warm, summer evening in the Mushroom Kingdom, and might I say, a great night to host such an occasion. What occasion, you ask? Little Fungitown's MOVIE NIGHT! It was a night neither man nor mushroom could possibly afford to miss. Especially since Peach donated a huge theater to them. However, one person did not receive an invitation...

Mario: I'm not invited?!

Luigi: I'm afraid not, Mario. Since-a last year's fumble, you've been-a banned from every-a single event!

Mario: Even the Christmas Party?

Luigi: Yes.

Mario: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Luigi: I can't believe that-a you've been banned-a from every single event only because-a of one little mistake...

Mario: Which one was that?

Luigi: I-a believe it was the... *gulp* Halloween... Party... Incident...

Yoshi: *GASP*

Luigi: How did you get in here?

Yoshi: ZOMG PLOT HOLE

Yoshi's head explodes.

Luigi: Um...

Yoshi then walks into the room.

Yoshi: Sorry, bathroom.

Luigi: How did- Never mind. So, ever since the Halloween Party's... um... blunder, you've been-a banned from every single event!

Mario: What did I do, anyway?

Luigi: MARIO! How could-a you forget? It was-a the very day you were scarred for life!

Mario: I still don't know what was so bad...

Luigi: Well, you were-a going to give Peach a kiss, then-a you accidentally-

Mario: Now I remember! Don't say it! DON'T SAY IT!

Luigi: It's a good thing you-a stopped me, Mario. There might have been-a some young kids reading this!

Luigi glares at the screen.

Luigi: I CAN SEE YOU!

Mario: Oookayyy... Well, irregardless, I'm still going to that Movie Night.

Luigi: First of all, irregardless is-a not a real word. Second, no freaking way. Have-a you forgotten? Peach will be there!

Mario: Oh yeah... She's got a ten-foot restraining order on me... Well, I can be all the way across from her and that wouldn't matter, right?

Luigi: Dunno, Mario. Security's gonna be tight.

Mario: I'm still going.

Yoshi: ZOMG U R CRAZY

Yoshi's head explodes.

Luigi: That's the second time-a that's happened.

Yoshi walks into the room.

Yoshi: Bathroom.

Luigi: The Yoshi Bot was right, Mario. You are crazy.

Mario: That may be, but I am also very persistent! And I am going to that Movie Night irregardless of what you all think!

Mario jumps out the window of his living room.

Mario: OW!! You win again, glass!

Luigi: *sigh* He won't get far.

Mario runs down to the theater and sees the entire town entering. Even the Koopa King himself is there.

Bowser: Okay, we're gonna be seeing which movie, kids?

Koopalings: We wanna see 500!

Bowser: All right, I'll have eight tickets to see 500.

Bowser Jr: What about me?!

Bowser: Argh, why did you have to come?! You've just cost me an extra eight coins for admission, dork!

Mario: I'll need a disguise...

Wario is standing next to Mario in line.

Mario: (Perfect.) Say, Wario, why don't we go for a walk, and take a trip down memory lane?

Wario: Aren't you not supposed to be here?

Mario leads him over to a bush, pushes him in, takes his hat, and gives Wario his.

Wario: What the- HEY!

Mario: Mwa ha, ha, ha, ha!

Mario gets on line and is accepted inside, while Wario is dragged out of line by an angry mob.

Wario: No! Let me go! I'm too pretty to die!

Mario: (All right, I'm inside! Now I just need to pick a movie!)

Mario is looking at two posters. One is for Delfino Express, the other, Mario: The Movie.

Speaker: Attention visitors, all films will begin in five minutes.

Mario: AUGH! I can't decide!! Luigi told me not to watch Delfino Express, but I'm too scared to watch Mario: The Movie! WAH!

After a brief eeny-meeny-miney-mo, Mario chose Mario: The Movie, wanting to see himself in action, without his cowardliness kicking in. He then walks over to room 4, where it is taking place.

Mario: All right, I'll take my seat up front!

Mario then takes his seat. As the previews begin, everyone begins glaring at him.

Mario: ... What?

Mushroomer: You look familiar... The worst kind of familiar... What's your name?

Mario: My... MY NAME?

Mario had forgotten all about his true weakness: his name. If he were asked his name, he would always gleefully reply: "It's-a me, Mario!" But now, it was uncontrollable. He couldn't possibly hold it back. He had to say it... And...

Mario: It's-a... Me... MARIO!!!

Everyone began laughing.

Mushroomer: If you're Mario, why does your hat have a W on it?

Mario: Well, uh... Because, it's-a me! Wario!

Mushroomer: Okay, because I thought you were Mario.

Mario: ... Speaking hypothetically, what if I was, in fact, Mario?

Mushroomer: WE WOULD TEAR YOU TO SHREDS!!!

???: That's right...

Mario turns to find where that voice came from, only to find the wonderful princess herself.

Mario: Eep!

Peach: You know, Wario... you sure look like you lost some weight...

Mario: Uh, yeah, I've been working out. Hehe.

Peach: Oh, really? You know... your moustache look so well groomed...

Mario: Uh... Thank you?

Peach: Oh! The movie's starting!

Mario: So, uh, what's this movie about?

Peach: Oh, this? I directed it myself! It depicts my true hatred for that stupid, red-shirted and blue-overalled @#$%&!

Mario: ...

Peach: Let's watch! ... Hey, why are you wearing blue overalls? And a... RED... SHIRT...?

Mario: Uh, this is my... um... alternate clothing. Yeah.

Peach: You too? I have alternate clothing, too!

Mario: NO WAY.

Peach: Way!

Mario: Wow. That is great and all, but I... uh... really have to go to the bathroom now. BYE!

Mario dashes out of the room and runs to the men's room.

Mario: ARGH! This has gone from bad to worse... If only Luigi were here...

Luigi then exits a stall beside him.

Luigi: Oh, hey Wario! You made it?

Mario: Luigi! It's me!

Luigi: ... Toad?

Mario: No...

Luigi: ... Waluigi?

Mario: No.

Luigi: Bowser? Lemmy? Toadette? A pickle? Kinopio? Sparta?

Mario: No, no, no, what? No, and NO. It's-a me, Mario!

Luigi: LIAR! Then-a why does your-a hat have a W on it?

Mario: (This is the best disguise ever. But anyway...) BECAUSE I STOLE WARIO'S HAT AND GAVE HIM MINE!!!

Luigi: Oh... For a minute there-a I thought you were Sparta.

Mario: WHAT? But anyway, I need your help! Peach is falling for Wario! Which is me, just with his hat on! What should I do?!

Luigi: Get fat, wear purple overalls and a yellow shirt, don't groom your moustache, use body spray, and get big blue bags under your eyes.

Mario: I'll keep all that in mind. But for now, I’ve gotta leave this place before I go nuts!

Luigi: Why don't you just be yourself?

Mario: What are you, a Long Live Kids advertiser?

Luigi: No. Just take off your hat and go back in there.

Mario: But everyone will hate me and rip me apart!

Luigi: Hey, but at least you'd be ripped apart as Mario.

Mario: ... You're right! Luckily, I keep a spare hat!

Mario pulls his original cap out of his pocket and wears it. He then walks into the room.

Mario: It's-a me, Mario!

Mushroomer: GET HIM!!!

Mario: HOLY!

Meanwhile, outside the door, Luigi has locked the exit.

Mario: LUIGI!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!! PLEASE!!!

Luigi: No! This is what you-a get for telling everyone that I-a watch Sailor Moon!

Mario: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!

Luigi: Neither do I! But this is what you get! Mwa, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Bowser: You watch Sailor Moon?

Luigi: ...

Everyone begins pointing and laughing at Luigi.

Luigi: Stop! *sob* It's a good show! I don't care what you say!

Bowser: Hey, he's right.

Goomba: Let's all go home and watch it!

Everyone (including Mario): YEAH!!!

Everyone leaves the theater to go home and watch Sailor Moon.